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OPINION: India's tiff with intimacy and how it is regressive rather than progressive
In an exclusive column for Pinkvilla, popular writer Kanika Dhillon shares her take on India's concerns with intimacy.
On screen are two lovers, eyes locked in a wanting gaze, hearts pulling them closer together every passing second… aur paas… aur paas… and then suddenly, a pair of sunflowers emerges, ending up in a petal-y embrace. A cozy 5-seater car squeakily shakes side-to-side as palms slam the window; a wooden bed creaks with only two pairs of feet sneaking out from under the bed sheet, and finally a room door closes accompanied by passionate ‘Ooohs’ and ‘Aaahs’: Ladies and gentlemen, this is how Indian cinema has been getting intimate up till the beginning of the 21st century. Mostly, we treat intimacy like a mistress we love, but are too embarrassed to own.
Intimacy has had a very long and arduous journey to reach where it has today, recently having its own department and Head of Department on film sets- a much-needed awakening! To reach here though, it has faced many horrors. Thankfully, the MeToo movement came to a timely rescue and disrobed some shocking incidents that brought to the fore the ugliness behind shooting intimate scenes in reel life, for female artists in particular.
As a woman, I remember feeling a deep sense of anguish as I came across the account of a veteran actress, who revealed how a director and actor orchestrated a kissing scene without telling her, simply to catch her ‘surprised’ reaction! Well, to be kissed in front of the entire film crew without consent surely borders on assault instead of surprise. In another ludicrous instance, an actor was categorically instructed by his director to rip off his co-star’s blouse, while filming a rape scene! That too, without informing her prior to the camera rolling! Like in real life, in reel life too it’s almost as if consent is a jilted lover to intimacy in our land of Kama Sutra.
Not only in cinema, but even outside of it, this entire discomfort around the three-letter ‘S’ word and intimacy, continues. Right from the ‘Gupt Rog’ adverts that refuse to call out the ailments, to doctors sheepishly asking about one’s ‘relations’ with their partner, because mouthing ‘sex life’ will make them choke and gag with shame: The irony is almost amusing, as none of this has any weightage on our population rate. It is very clear that we love to get intimate, but always behind closed doors.
Coming to modern-day Bollywood, remember the era when the kissing scene in Raja Hindustani made headlines, touted to be one of the longest ones in Hindi cinema? The naughty insinuations in Jab We Met where Geet and Aditya stumble into ‘Hotel Decent’ on the streets of Ratlam, rooms rented per hour – evidently a mating place for couples on the go? And how can we forget the poster boy of intimate scenes – the well-loved Emraan Hashmi? All of this is testament to the fact that the hypocritical image about intimacy in our country has slowly but surely started to shed!
The pandit overseeing this marriage of consent and intimacy in Bollywood is OTT. As the urban or so-called-progressive audiences are being accepting and welcoming to more raw and bold storytelling, the demand for this certain kind of content has seen a rise, and the aftermath of MeToo has ensured that they are helmed relatively carefully. However, this has its own flipside. Simply because, sometimes OTT is also seen catering to the deprivation of sexual intimacy in the mainstream public domain. A lot of content leans towards voyeuristic, playing on the shock value of titillating the audiences as the end goal.
Given this complicated journey that intimacy has had in reel and real life, the question is, what is the fate of intimacy in our country with Gen Z and whether they are ready to accept it in its true sense and essence.
Will they be able to strike the correct balance and see this concept for what it is in a holistic manner: physical, mental AND emotional? How frequently will we see a kiss or a love-making scene depicted in a way that is neither too conservative nor provocatively titillating? Can Gen Z in India just BE with intimacy and respect consent, both in reel and real life?
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