Alec Baldwin's Wife Hilaria Baldwin Says Actor ‘Wanted to K-ll Himself’ After Rust Shooting: ‘He Has Survivor’s Guilt’

Hilaria Baldwin revealed that Alec Baldwin felt deep 'survivor’s guilt' after the tragic Rust shooting and even told her he 'wanted to kill himself' the day after the incident.

Written by Sakina Kaukawala , Entertainment Journalist

Published on Mar 05, 2025 | 01:30 PM IST | 10.5K

Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Baldwin (via Instagram)

Trigger Warning: This article contains references to suicide.

Alec Baldwin’s wife, Hilaria Baldwin, revealed that her husband struggled with deep survivor’s guilt following the tragic Rust shooting. In the latest episode of their TLC reality series, The Baldwins, Hilaria shared that Alec sent her alarming messages the day after the October 2021 incident.

“I found these text messages the other day between us, you know, the day after,” Hilaria said on camera. “Alec said he wanted to kill himself.”

She added that Alec still carries immense guilt. “You’re involved in this thing that nobody could even possibly imagine. And so he goes back to that day; he wishes it were him. He would change places [with Hutchins] in a second.”

The shooting, which resulted in the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and injured director Joel Souza, has deeply affected Baldwin’s mental and physical health. Hilaria shared that Alec has experienced serious health issues since the incident, as per People.

“He’ll never be the same,” she said. “This has affected his health and his mental health tremendously the past few years. All of a sudden, he has started having heart problems. He’s been hospitalized multiple times.”

She also recalled an instance when Alec fainted, saying, “I was shaking him. It’s hard sometimes. But, you know, hopefully, we’re in the hardest but the tail end of it.”

In a recent interview with PEOPLE, Alec Baldwin shared that he had to push down his emotions after the tragedy, focusing on his family instead.

With seven kids to care for, he felt he couldn’t step away to grieve. However, he admitted that the weight of the incident is catching up with him now, saying the emotions are finally starting to surface.

The Rust shooting led to legal challenges for Alec Baldwin. He was initially charged with involuntary manslaughter, but the case was dismissed last July after prosecutors were found to have committed a Brady violation.

Meanwhile, the film’s armorer, Hannah Gutierrez-Reed, was convicted of involuntary manslaughter in March 2024. Assistant director David Halls pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of negligent use of a deadly weapon.

The Baldwins, which premiered on TLC on February 23, follows Alec, Hilaria, and their seven children as they navigate life in New York City. The series includes candid conversations about how the Rust tragedy affected their family.

Disclaimer: If you know someone who is having suicidal thoughts, anxiety, going through depression, or is suffering from a serious mental illness, reach out to a nearby doctor, mental health expert, or an NGO for immediate help. There are several helplines available for the same.