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Ben Affleck Opens Up About Struggling with ‘Internalized Homophobia’ While Filming Chasing Amy
In a candid new interview, Ben Affleck opens up about the discomfort he felt during a same-sex kiss scene and how it challenged him to confront his own biases.
Ben Affleck is revisiting one of his earlier and most controversial roles—Holden McNeil in Kevin Smith’s 1997 cult classic Chasing Amy. In a recent interview with GQ, the 52-year-old actor revealed how the film unexpectedly became a mirror for him to face his own internalized homophobia, particularly during a scene that required him to kiss co-star Jason Lee.
“I ended up having to confront some of my own internalized homophobia [in Chasing Amy] because I found it so difficult to kiss Jason,” Affleck admitted. “And I thought, ‘This is really embarrassing. Like, this is clearly some internalized thing because why should that be a difficult thing to do?’”
In Chasing Amy, Affleck plays a comic book artist who falls in love with a lesbian woman, played by Joey Lauren Adams, while dealing with tensions involving his business partner, portrayed by Lee. The film subtly explored themes of fluid sexuality and emotional complexity between men, which Affleck says prompted deep self-reflection.
“At the time, what I thought about it was that it kind of alluded to a spectrum of sexual orientation,” he shared. “To me it was very suggestive around the homosexuality between the two friends.”
Delving into the emotional nuance of his character, Affleck explained, “You love this other man. We have friendships with men that we love very much. And it was a way of looking at how that could also be similar to homosexual relationships. I thought that was honest.”
However, Affleck wasn’t entirely satisfied with his performance. “I still think I did a s***y and unconvincing job at it, and I’m disappointed by that,” he confessed, adding that he’d love a chance to do better. Still, he admitted he would be hesitant to take on a queer role again today, citing concerns over authenticity and representation: “I don’t want to offend anyone in this direction.”
Despite his reservations, Affleck remains proud of the film’s legacy. “It was a movie that, at the time, sort of felt like it was pushing some boundaries,” he said. “And in retrospect, as often happens, the world has evolved.”
Chasing Amy became a modest indie success, grossing $12 million at the box office and earning critical acclaim. It won two Independent Spirit Awards in 1998—Best Screenplay and Best Supporting Actor for Jason Lee. As Affleck reflects on the film decades later, it’s clear that beyond the role itself, Chasing Amy left a lasting impact on the actor’s personal growth and understanding of identity—even as conversations about LGBTQ+ representation in Hollywood continue to evolve.
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