Ellen Pompeo Reveals Why She Was Against Filming Grey’s Anatomy’s Iconic 'Pick Me, Choose Me' Scene: 'Didn't Wanna...'

Ellen Pompeo says she was ‘embarrassed’ by Grey’s Anatomy’s famous ‘Pick Me’ scene. Read on to know the details.

Written by Ipshita Chakraborty , Entertainment Journalist

Published on Mar 22, 2025 | 05:38 PM GMT | 6K

CC: Instagram

Ellen Pompeo has admitted she first refused when asked to say one of her characters' most iconic lines on Grey's Anatomy.

Speaking during a visit on the Call Her Daddy podcast, Pompeo revisited the cult 2005 scene when Meredith Grey implores Derek Shepherd to be with her and leave his wife.

The line—"Pick me, choose me, love me"—is a catchphrase that became one of the series' most identifiable quotes, yet Pompeo said she wasn't stoked about reading it back then.

She said that she had an issue with her character begging for a man's affection, wondering why Meredith would place herself in such a position of vulnerability. Despite her hesitation, she gave credit to the show's creator, Shonda Rhimes for understanding the emotional impact the line would have on viewers.

Pompeo said, "There was a lot of stuff that I didn't wanna do at the time. I didn't wanna say, ‘Pick me, choose me, love me.’"

Pompeo conceded that though she did not realize it at the time, Rhimes knew it would resonate—and indeed ended up being one of the show's most memorable scenes.

"She knew that was gonna pop. I was like, ‘Why would I do this? Why would I beg, why would I?’ And you know, you have to just suck it up and do it," Pompeo recalled, adding, "And it ended up being, you know, the biggest thing ever, the most iconic things ever. So, I'm not always the best judge of, you know, what's gonna [work]."

Pompeo touched upon her memories of the scene once more during a 2023 interview with her erstwhile co-star Katherine Heigl. She described resisting the words, finding the scenario awkward and even embarrassing to depict a woman pining for love.

"That’s another really interesting thing about life,” Pompeo told Variety, adding, "Some things that I was so against—I was like, ‘Why would I beg a man? I can’t beg a man on TV; this is so embarrassing.’ And then it turns out to be, like, one of the most successful scenes."

She came to realize later that the raw emotion and vulnerability of the moment were partly responsible for its uncomfortable memory. "In the scene, I’m crying, but I’m really crying because I have to beg a man on television," she stressed.

The show's emotional cost wasn't restricted to that moment. Ellen Pompeo said that both she and co-star T.R. Knight both cried while filming their characters' uncomfortable sex scene during season two. Neither of them wanted to do the scene, and the tension was such that the tears that were filmed were real, as stated by the actress.