'I don't deserve you, I would probably die with all the shame': When Jay-Z indirectly admitted to cheating on Beyonce via his song

In 2017, Jay-Z released the album 4:44, in which he apologized to Beyonce for his infidelity and spoke about his twins.

By Avnii Bagaria

Updated on Aug 29, 2023 | 05:48 AM IST | 2.6M

Beyonce and Jay-Z (Instagram)

Jay-Z appeared to have dedicated a song from his album 4:44 to his wife and mother of his children, Beyoncé. Jay-Z and Beyonce have been in love and together since 2008, but it has not always been rainbows and sunshine for the couple. In 2014, rumors started circulating that Jay-Z had cheated on Queen Bey. Whereas, Beyoncé's explosive album Lemonade validated the suspicions of infidelity, and Jay Z subsequently broke his silence and revealed that the reports were accurate. But, he even apologized for his actions in his 2017 album.

ALSO READ: Fans furious at Beyoncé for mishap during Renaissance tour?

Jay-Z apologized to Beyoncé in a song on his 4:44 album

In 2017, Jay-Z released his album 4:44. The father of twins discussed the couple's almost 15-year romance in the fifth track, 4:44, on the rapper's fourteenth studio album and thirteenth solo album. The contemplative lyrics provided additional facts about their relationship, like admitting to the adultery his wife originally revealed on Lemonade and mentioning their newborn twins.

Jay-Z's lyrics were, "I often apologize for womanizing. It took for my child to be born. I saw through a woman's eyes. It took for these natural twins to believe in miracles. It took me too long for this song. I don't deserve you."

A source revealed to PEOPLE that the 41-year-old singer gave birth to twins. The rapper, who was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame that year, also acknowledged the loss of children in the plural.

He sang, "So I apologize; I've seen the innocence; Leave your eyes. I still mourn this death. I apologize for all the stillborns. Because I wasn't pressing. Your body wouldn't accept it."

Jay-Z initially acknowledged a miscarriage in a song called Glory, which was released two days after the birth of his daughter, Blue Ivy Carter. Then, a year later, the Single Ladies singer revealed information about a miscarriage that occurred before Blue's birth in her 2013 HBO documentary, Life Is But a Dream.

Meanwhile, 4:44 also mentioned the ups and downs of their relationship, and Jay-Z admitted to being unfaithful. He sang, "And if my children found out, I don't know what I'd do. If they don't look at me the same, I'd definitely die with all the embarrassment. You did what with who? What good is a ménage à trois when you have a soulmate? You risked that for Blue?'"

The album title 4:44 may be a reference to the couple's obsession with the number 4. The rapper was born on December 4, while his famous wife was born on September 4. Their wedding anniversary is on April 4, and they have identical IV tattoos.

Beyoncé wrote songs about Jay-Z’s infidelity

Beyoncé reduced her husband to size on tunes like Hold Up, Sorry and Don't Hurt Yourself off her Grammy-winning album Lemonade.

Beyoncé sang on Hold Up and Sorry, "What a wicked way to treat the girl who loves you. Looking at my watch, he shoulda been home. Today I regret the night I put that ring on."

Then she became enraged, singing on Don't Hurt Yourself, "Who the f***k do you think I am? You ain't married to no average bitch boy. You're going to lose your wife if you try this sh*t again."

On Love Drought, Beyoncé stated, "Ten times out of nine, I know you're lying. But nine times out of ten, I know you're trying." On Sandcastles and Lemonade, she admitted that they'd worked things out: "And although I promised that I couldn't stay, baby, every promise doesn't work out that way. I was served lemons, but I made lemonade."

Meanwhile, all is well between Jay-Z and Beyoncé now, and the latter has been busy with her Renaissance tour. This is her first major tour since 2018.

ALSO READ: Beyoncé stuns fans as she shines in gold mini dress on Renaissance Tour stop in Washington