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Jimmy Kimmel Roasts Big Names At 2024 Disney Upfront: Bob Iger, The Kardashians, And Others
After a five-year hiatus, Kimmel returned with self-effacing jokes about his past absences due to COVID and the writer’s strike. He targeted big names like Bob Iger, CBS, NBC, Netflix, and even the Kardashians.
Jimmy Kimmel was Jimmy Kimmeling at the Disney Upfront stage on Tuesday, May 14, entertaining the advertisers and media buyers with his zesty comments for the first time in five years. (The Jimmy Kimmel Live! host did not attend last year's gathering due to the Hollywood strikes, and missed it in 2022 after testing positive for Covid. The previous two years, Upfront was conducted virtually because of the pandemic).
“Two years ago, I couldn't be here in person because I had COVID. And last year, I could not be here because of the writer’s strike. And this year I couldn't think of a third excuse. I tried diarrhea on the plane, but I guess they get that all the time,” the famed comedian began his monologue on a self-effacing note, only to soon target the biggies in showbiz.
Among those who endured the jests of Kimmel’s harmless jokes yesterday were cable networks CBS and NBC, streaming giant Netflix, Disney CEO Bob Iger, and of course, the Kardashians
Since Upfront is an exclusive advertiser and media buyers-only event, we thought it would be a good idea to propagate Kimmel’s must-not-be-missed-at-any-cost jokes to our readers in writing. For that, though, you'll have to keep scrolling.
Kimmel’s two cents to Bob Iger — Retire!
“Bob Iger should be retired by now, he should be off on a yacht somewhere. Instead, he's here pretending to be excited about a new season of Will-F***ing-Trent. Bob tried to sell us last year, he puts us up for sale, and as if that wasn’t bad enough, no one wanted to buy us. When no one was interested, Bob explained that he didn't mean he literally wanted to sell us, he was just testing the waters for Wall Street. You know, Bob, when people test the waters, they usually dip in a toe, they don't drown their children,” Kimmel remarked.
Honestly, we think Kimmel outdid himself here. Period!
All thank Jimmy Kimmel for calling Netflix Out on its latest Obsession with Ads
“They [Netflix] came in to destroy commercial television and now guess what? They want to sell you commercials on television. Now those smug a-holes have to lick your nuts like the rest of us,” Kimmel fired at the streaming giant, adding, “And of course [Netflix is] acting like they're excited about it. Like, ‘Oh my god, we love ads in our shows, it just never occurred to us to put them there,’ Scumbags.”
What did the Kardashians ever do to Kimmel? Joking! It was all Harmless
“We’re launching season five of The Kardashians on May 23. And there’s nothing you can do to stop us. This new season shows you the Kardashians like you've never seen them before, assuming you've never seen them before. Otherwise, it's exactly the same sh*t as the last 17 years,” Kimmel politely mocked the reality TV show and its stars.
ALSO READ: Selena Gomez Reveals Title Of Wizards Of Waverly Place Sequel Along With First Look
How rude of CBS to end Young Sheldon and Blue Bloods
“Things are changing at CBS and not for the better. Young Sheldon is coming to an end after several seasons. I know! I haven't seen it either. But what I do know is that there’s a 100 percent chance that somewhere at CBS headquarters right now there is a whiteboard with the words Old Sheldon? written on it.” Truthfully, Kimmel, we don't mind!
“CBS also announced this will be the 14th and final season of Blue Bloods. Those a**holes. Your grandpa has one thing left to live for,” Kimmel quipped, adding insult to the network's Kimmel-induced injury.
Stop being so flamboyant NBC
“You ever have a friend who buys a boat and he paid a lot of money for the boat and he's always posting pictures of the boat and in every conversation you have with him he somehow finds a way to make it about the boat? That's NBC with the Olympics,” as per Kimmel.
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