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‘Want To Run Away So Badly': Melissa Gilbert Opens Up About Childhood Struggles With Misophonia
Melissa Gilbert reveals a lifelong struggle with a neurological condition that made everyday sounds unbearable, leading to intense emotional reactions. Read on to find how she finally found relief!
Trigger Warning: This article contains references to Neurological Disability
Melissa Gilbert is best known for her iconic role as Laura Ingalls, better known as Half Pint, in Little House on the Prairie. Recently, she shared a very private battle that's plagued her since childhood. Behind that smiling face of the character that charmed audiences for years, Gilbert has been struggling with a neurological condition that leaves her feeling so alone and misunderstood.
As per an exclusive report by PEOPLE, as a child, everyday noises were a source of immense distress for Gilbert. The sounds of chewing, gum popping, fingernails clicking, and even hands clapping would trigger an overwhelming sense of anger and discomfort.
These reactions were so intense that during filming, particularly in the classroom scenes in the Little House set, she often felt the urge to flee. "If any of the kids chewed gum or ate or tapped their fingernails on the table, I would want to run away so badly," Gilbert recalls during an interview with PEOPLE, vividly describing her torments.
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The Safe Harbour actress revealed to PEOPLE that her young self would often find her turning beet red, with tears welling up in her eyes, feeling not only miserable but also horribly guilty. These emotions were especially difficult to bear because they were directed towards people she loved. It wasn’t just discomfort, it was an agonizing blend of shame and helplessness, knowing that these feelings were wrong but being powerless to control them.
For years, Gilbert believed she was simply a “bad person,” plagued by what she thought was an unusual and shameful flaw in her character. She revealed to the PEOPLE Magazine that It wasn’t until many years later that she discovered her reactions were due to a real, diagnosable condition called misophonia.
This neurological disorder causes individuals to have strong, often unpleasant emotional and physical responses to specific sounds or even visual triggers.
"When I found out that it had a name and I wasn't just a bad person, I sobbed," she admitted. The relief of knowing there was a reason behind her feelings was immense, but with that relief came the realization that this condition had shaped a significant part of her life.
Reportedly, Misophonia, Gilbert explains, isn’t just about being irritated by noises; it’s about the guilt and isolation that accompanies the disorder. As a child, she was often seen as fussy or difficult by her family, who didn’t understand the severity of what she was going through.
She revealed to PEOPLE, "I would just glare at my parents and my grandmother and my siblings with eyes filled with hate." The guilt from these intense reactions only deepened her sense of isolation.
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Reportedly, Her own children grew up under the shadow of this condition as well. Gilbert recalls how even the simple act of chewing could set her off. She developed a hand signal, making her hand into a puppet motion, mimicking chewing, and then snapping it shut, to silently convey to her children to stop. “My poor kids spent their whole childhoods growing up with me doing this. They weren't allowed to have gum," she said to PEOPLE.
As per the report, when Gilbert entered menopause, her reactions became even more pronounced. The hormonal changes intensified her sensitivity, making her even more touchy and reactive. "As the estrogen leaked out, the anger seeped in," she reflected, acknowledging how this phase of life exacerbated her struggles.
However, It wasn’t until last year that Gilbert discovered there was a way to treat misophonia. Reports suggest that she reached out to Duke University's Center for Misophonia and Emotional Regulation, where she learned that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) could be effective in managing her symptoms. After 16 weeks of intensive therapy, Gilbert felt a sense of control she hadn’t experienced before.
“This is an emotional issue. It's about self-regulation and self-control,” she explained. CBT taught her how to recognize the early signs of stress and implement strategies to calm herself before her reactions bloom. For example, she learned that relaxing her feet, a physical cue, she discovered could help her regain control in stressful situations.
She recently shared her gratitude with her followers on Instagram. In a heartfelt post, she expressed how life-changing it has been to finally find a solution to her long-standing struggles.
“I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to have found treatment for my misophonia at @dukecenterformisophonia. It changed my life,” Gilbert wrote in the caption, encouraging others who may be suffering in silence. “You or someone you know suffers from Misophonia. There’s help out there. There’s hope.”
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Interestingly, Now, equipped with the tools to manage her misophonia, Gilbert revealed to PEOPLE that her life has changed dramatically. No longer do her loved ones have to walk on eggshells around her.
Surprisingly, last Christmas she even gave her kids a symbolic gift, packs of gum signifying the progress she’s made. Gilbert's journey with misophonia is far from over, but by sharing her story, she hopes to create awareness and offer hope to others suffering in silence.
Disclaimer: If you know someone who is having suicidal thoughts, anxiety, going through depression, or is suffering from a serious mental illness, reach out to a nearby doctor, mental health expert, or an NGO for immediate help. There are several helplines available for the same.
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