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21 Signs You Really Hurt Him And How to Make up for It
Is your partner avoiding you? It might be because he’s upset by you! Here are some obvious signs you really hurt him and ways to fix things.
Relationships are a two-way street: a couple strives hard to keep each other happy and be with one another through highs and lows. However, humans are bound to err, and even though you love your man to the moon and back, there can be times when you make a mistake or say something you didn’t intend to and hurt your partner. If your man is hurt, you’ll notice a change in his behavior. Sometimes, what we say or do in a fit of rage or when feeling low is unintentional. There are some subtle signs you really hurt him, which, if you let them go unnoticed, can jeopardize your relationship if you don’t apologize for your mistake quickly.
That’s because even a slight misunderstanding can harm your relationship. Hence, it’s best to take note of the signs that your man is hurting and mend your mistake quickly. To help you understand a man’s behavior after you’ve said/done something upsetting, here we have decoded some signs a guy is hurt by you. Keep reading to know more!
21 Obvious Signs You Really Hurt Him And He Is Upset
1. He Stops Talking to You
When a man is hurt by a woman he loves, the very first thing he might do is stop talking to her altogether. It is human nature to not want to communicate with someone who has said or done something distressing — especially when that person is your partner. In love, two people are each other’s precious gems, and when you hurt that special someone, it’s bound to leave a wound in their heart that’s difficult to heal. So if your man has suddenly stopped talking to you, it could be because he’s upset with you and is in emotional pain.
2. He Cancels All the Immediate Plans with You
Maybe you’re a couple who are a life of parties, but suddenly you see that your bae is not at all interested in going anywhere with you. From going for mundane activities like grocery shopping to interesting events like a music concert, he cancels all the plans with you giving vague reasons. When he does that, he may be trying to avoid you at all costs because he feels that your presence might make him feel sad. If you notice this shift in behavior, talk to him and sort it out.
3. He Doesn’t Respond to Your Calls Or Text Messages
It’s quite normal for your partner to not respond to your calls or text messages when he is busy. But if this has become a pattern wherein he doesn’t pick up your call or text you back, it’s one of the evident signs you really hurt him.
4. He Stops Complimenting You
In a relationship, small gestures like thanking and complimenting each other go a long way in keeping the relationship happy and healthy. If your partner often compliments you for little things but now has stopped doing so completely, it could be because you’ve hurt him. This is one of the major signs you hurt his ego and that you need to fix it as soon as possible to mend your relationship.
5. He Blocks You on Social Media
There are hardly any couples who don’t follow each other on social media. Often, couples flaunt their love by posting their images or writing posts for one another on their social media handles. Blocking someone on social media is a clear-cut sign that they are not interested in talking to you anymore. If your man blocks or unfollows you, it’s one of the telltale signs he’s been hurt.
6. He Doesn’t Greet You
If your man always greets you with a smile, shows his love with hugs and cuddles, and has stopped doing it now, it's one of the common signs you hurt his pride. It can be pretty devastating for you to notice this shift in behavior — when a warm-hearted person suddenly acts cold and aloof, it’s hard to not notice it and let it go. Don’t take this sign lightly and communicate with your man to fix things.
7. He Stops Helping You
A couple’s love flourishes when both support and help each other, whenever needed. If your man was a very helpful person, but you’ve recently noticed that he shows displeasure in listening to your problems or helping you, it could be because he is hurt.
8. He Gets Angry at Small Things
There’s another way to know if you’ve hurt him and this one’s kind of obvious — he will get furious at things he doesn’t really bother about. You notice that you both can’t even have a normal conversation without getting into a heated argument. This shows that he’s hurting from the inside and is venting frustration on you.
9. He Starts Talking to His Ex
This is the way to show you that he is hurt by you and that he can’t make a difference between what's right and wrong. He might start talking to his ex or someone he liked in the past just to take revenge and bring out your jealous side. Doing this might help him gain his self-esteem and show you that he’s still on top of the game.
10. He Starts Binge Eating Or Drinking
One of the ways to cope with stress for many people is binge eating. Often, people who are under stress often turn to food to get pleasure. This is not a healthy habit and might lead to a health problem. If your partner has started binge eating or consuming too much alcohol, know that’s something seriously wrong and needs to be fixed quickly.
11. He Posts Negative Things About Relationships on Social Media
It's not always that a man blocks his loved one on social media platforms when he is hurt by her — there are times when he doesn’t do that and starts posting negative things about the relationship or her on his social media handle to let her know that he’s sulking in silence. If you notice a lot of rants about relationships in general or about you on his social media, it's one of the subtle signs a man is hurt emotionally.
12. He Starts Indulging in Former Bad Habits
A healthy relationship makes us a better person in many ways — people often quit their bad habits like smoking, drinking, procrastinating, etc. to live a happy life with their beloved. But if your partner has suddenly reverted to his old ways and is not stopping himself from getting into bad habits even when you’ve asked him to, it’s one of the definite signs he has lost sense of control and is hurting.
“Most people will revert to their former bad habits if they are feeling hurt or upset as a coping mechanism. They can provide temporary relief from emotional pain if they have not learned other ways to process their emotions. Often people fall into old habits because they are familiar, allowing the individual to feel comforted by them and even giving them a sense of control, even if they are not constructive in the long-term,” says relationship coach Amanda Leigh Doueihi.
13. He Becomes Extremely Busy with His Friends And Family
It is common to hang out with friends and family members, but if lately, you’ve observed that your man is spending all the time with his friends and family and ignoring you, it could be because he is distressed by your actions or words. When a guy is hurt, it’s highly likely he will ignore you and give all his time to his friends and family. So don’t ignore this sign and mend his broken heart before it's too late.
14. He Ignores Your Presence
Sometimes, silence too speaks a lot about various things — if your man hasn’t stated that he’s upset with you but has started ignoring your presence all the time, it could be because he is feeling hurt. He will not talk to you at home, ignore your calls, won’t greet you, and at social gatherings, he might even bypass you and talk to others. This is a way to let you know you’ve wounded his heart and he wants your apology.
15. His Body Language Is Odd
The signs you hurt him don't need to be always verbal. Our body language, too, talks a lot about how we are feeling. So if you notice your man moving away from your direction when you approach him or fold his hands when you try conversing with him, it’s likely that you’ve brought misery on him.
16. He Starts Working out Way Too Much
Nobody likes getting a comment on their body — it hurts their self-esteem and passing body shaming comments on your partner can likely sabotage your relationship. So if your partner didn’t really work out before but has now started spending all the time in the gym after you commented something about his body, chances are he didn’t take the comment as a joke and is hurt.
Moreover, not every time, men start hitting the gym after they have been commented on by their partners, they might also start spending time in the gym to avoid seeing you. This could be his way to divert his attention and focus his energy on something productive.
17. His Family And Friends Act Cold in Front of You
If you have always been on nice terms with your partner’s family and friends, and suddenly you notice that they aren’t treating you nicely, chances are you might have done something wrong. If you are close to them, you can directly ask them and get to know about what’s the thing that has hurt your partner.
18. He Drunk Calls You
People can’t always say things when they are sober — especially when they are hurt and it’s their beloved who has hurt them. In this case, he might resort to drinking and call you when he’s drunk. He might also tell you that he’s hurt when he is drunk. This is a sign that he is not able to control his emotions and needs help.
19. He Doesn’t Make Eye Contact with You
Eye contact is a way of communicating with your loved one. It’s said that eyes tell a lot about our emotions and thoughts. When your man stops maintaining eye contact with you, it could be because he doesn’t want to be in the same room as you. It might be because something has happened that has killed the desire in him to look into your eyes and evoke happiness and love.
20. He Is Always Sad
One of the most obvious signs you really hurt him is that he is always sad. If earlier he was always giggling and laughing, sharing jokes with you and telling him about your day but now has stopped with this, it might be because he is stressed over what you have said or done.
21. He Keeps Himself Busy to Avoid
Maybe earlier he used to take time out of his busy schedule for you but has now stopped doing it. He has bought various memberships, and enrolled in various courses to keep himself busy. If lately he’s been keeping himself too busy with different chores and doesn’t give you any time, it might be because he’s hurt.
What to Do When Your Partner Is Hurt?
As the famous adage goes, “Prevention is better than cure” — it’s always advisable to control anger and negative emotions, as when we are frustrated, we might say hurtful things that we can’t take back. So whenever you are feeling low, it’s best to talk about it with your partner instead of lashing at him for something that isn’t his fault. But as mentioned above, we are humans after all, and can make mistakes. If you have said or done something either intentionally or unintentionally, and noticed any of the above signs you hurt him, it’s best to communicate directly with your partner.
You can apologize to him and give him the surety that you won’t commit the same mistake again. You can share sorry texts with him or leave a handwritten letter to make him realize that you are sorry for your act. Amanda further adds “ In a healthy relationship built on emotional security, your partner is more likely to confide in you about what's upset them. However, if they choose not to share, it would be helpful for you to gently ask them about their feelings and why they are upset. The most constructive approach to fixing things is asking them what they need from you. Do they need you to listen to them? Or do they need an apology? There's no magic bullet to resolving issues in a relationship. A solution that may work for one couple, or at one time in a couple's relationship, may not work for another couple or a t another time in the relationship. Always ask your partner what they need and how you can best support them.”
Conclusion
The signs you really hurt him can sometimes be obvious for you to understand everything, but at times they can be so subtle that it could be difficult for you to realize that your partner is upset with something that you have done. We hope our guide helps you understand if your partner is hurt and assists you in strengthening your relationship before it’s too late. Remember that in situations like these, it’s important to communicate — if he’s hurt, don’t hesitate to have a one-on-one conversation with him, apologize, and fix your relationship.
If even after talking it out, you feel that he is still hurt and you both want to keep the relationship going, you can also seek help from a counselor. After all, a relationship is all about not giving up on each other — be there for one another and keep your love story going strong and happy forever and ever!
