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Clingy Boyfriend: 10 Signs He Is Being Too Needy And Ways to Deal
A clingy boyfriend may seem romantic but can be harmful to the relationship. Read the signs of a clingy boyfriend and the best ways to deal with his clinginess.
The line between being attached and being clingy with someone is so thin that in many cases, people are not able to differentiate between the two. Relationships are meant to help people thrive, but a clingy boyfriend can make you feel like you are suffocating and drowning in a dark pit of possessiveness.
Clingy people have a deep need for affection and constant assurances that you won't leave them. They cannot stand separation and rely heavily on their partners for emotional needs, to an extent where it might become unbearable. In romantic relationships, the word clinginess often has a negative connotation and gets a bad rap. But more often than not, a clingy person is unaware of their behavior.
They are so scared of losing the one they love that they lose the ability to stay calm. There are various signs of a needy man that you must be aware of so that you can assess your relationship and draw boundaries, if necessary. Keep reading to know all about the signs of a clingy boyfriend and ways to deal with one.
What Does Being a Clingy Boyfriend Mean?
Clingy boyfriends get over-attached and always want to be with their partners. Their demands in the relationship can be unreasonable and can come off as needy or obsessive. A clingy boyfriend always wants to tag along with his girlfriend and needs constant assurance that she loves him. Moreover, he will be jealous if you spend time with someone else and show how hurt he is if you give him less time. There are many reasons why people become clingy, which are explained below. Read on to know more.
What Causes a Boyfriend to Be Clingy?
1. Insecurity
When a person is not secure about himself or the relationship, he may be looking for validation and constant assurance from the other person. Insecurity can bring the worst out of any individual and is one of the leading causes of clinginess.
2. Past Experiences
Maybe your boyfriend was in a relationship and hurt badly, so now he is too cautious about everything. Past traumatic experiences like being cheated on or being emotionally neglected in childhood can act as triggers that can lead a man to always check on you and be assured that you love him.
3. Anxiety Issues
Many people have anxiety issues because of childhood issues or past experiences that make them clingy. Being anxious that your partner might leave you or that they don't love you can make a person clingy.
Top 8 Telltale Signs of a Clingy Boyfriend
1. He Expects You to Talk toHim All the Time
Good communication and healthy relationships are inextricably related. But expecting your partner to communicate with you all the time is a sign of a needy relationship. A boyfriend who is clingy will bombard his partner with texts and emails and will stress out if their partner doesn't respond on time.
A relationship with a clingy partner will make you feel like your interests have taken a backseat and you have no time for yourself. You'll have to make yourself available 24*7 for your boyfriend to make him feel loved. If you are in a relationship wherein if you try to live life outside of the relationship you are told that you are abandoning your partner, know that you are dealing with a clingy partner.
2. He Keeps a Tab on Your Social Media Profiles
A relationship survives on the strong foundation of trust; if it's not there, any romantic story is bound to crumble. Talking about trust, stalking your partner, and keeping a tab on who they follow on social media or with whom they talk online are signs that there is a lack of trust and a tendency for possessive behavior in the relationship. If your boyfriend constantly stalks you online and asks about people commenting on your posts, consider this a red flag and reassess your relationship.
3. He Is Reluctant to Give You Space
A couple must spend quality time together to strengthen their bond, but not at the cost of their mental peace. Everyone needs space from time to time to maintain individuality. If your boyfriend demands you to be with them all the time and doesn't give you any space, know that you are in a relationship with a clingy person.
4. He Doesn't Give Time to His Interests
One of the signs of a clingy partner is that they don't pursue their hobbies and interests. In fact, a clingy partner will abandon his hobbies and take an interest in yours not because he actually likes them but because he wants to be a part of everything you like. This might sound pretty romantic but it can feel suffocating on the receiving end. If your boyfriend doesn't have any hobbies or doesn't give time to himself after being with you, it is a sign he is too needy.
5. He Demands Constant Reassurance That You Love Him
When a boyfriend is clingy, he will ask you constantly if you love him, and even if you assure him you do and show your feelings through actions, he won't feel satisfied. You will be constantly bombarded with questions like, "Do you really love?", "Are you sure you won't ever leave me?", "I can do anything for you, can you do the same for me?" and so on. If you are asked these questions on a regular basis, it is a sign you are dealing with a clingy partner.
6. He Doesn't Have a Social Life
A clingy partner wants to be a part of whatever you do, go wherever you go, and spend all his time with you. He will stop meeting his friends and make an excuse if he has to do something outside of the relationship. This might sound quite lovey-dovey but in reality, can be highly frustrating. If you are dealing with a person with such characteristics, it's a warning sign you are with an overbearing boyfriend.
7. He Doesn't Have a View Point of His Own
A clingy man wants to do everything that makes his girl happy. And for this, he will agree to whatever she says. He won't be confident in the relationship and will give in to all the requests of his love. This can be pretty overwhelming in a negative way as he will be in the mindset that you will leave him if he doesn't agree with what you say.
8. He Feels Jealous of Your Close Ones
A clingy partner will feel that they own you and not like you being with anyone else. They will feel possessive of you and maybe extremely insecure about your friends. People who are clingy also let their insecurities take over them and act disrespectfully toward those who are close to their partner. If you are facing these issues in a relationship, understand you are dealing with a clingy man.
How to Deal with a Clingy Boyfriend?
1. Find the Source of His Overly Attached Personality
In a vast majority of cases, there is an underlying cause of a person's clingy behavior. It may arise from childhood trauma or bad relationships in the past. Be assured that clingy behavior has a deep-rooted cause. Once you identify the cause, it will help you address the problem accordingly.
2. Have a Heart-to-Heart Conversation with Him
Sit down with him and have a deep conversation about his clingy behavior. When you plan to have this conversation, make sure to keep your judgments aside and listen to him attentively. Ask him why he feels the need to be constantly told that you love him or why he wants to be around you all the time. Make sure not to use the word needy or clingy because that might offend him. Many people exhibiting needy characteristics are unaware of what they are doing, so have clear communication with them without hurting them.
There is a huge chance he might say he does everything because you deserve it or because you are the most important person in his life. If you get such replies, don't get swayed by the affection and tell him that you love him but don't need so many reminders. Ask him to cut you some slack and let you have some space.
3. Establish Healthy Boundaries
In a relationship, giving the key to your heart to your partner is fine, but you must not let anyone define your life. Being in a highly codependent relationship can take a toll on your mental health, so it is advisable to set healthy boundaries and not let your partner take all the decisions for you. For instance, if your boyfriend expects you to give him a call right after you leave the house, and gets angry if you miss the call, tell him that this behavior is not healthy. Also, if he checks your phone constantly, tell him you don't approve of this behavior.
4. Be Patient with Him
After openly communicating with your boyfriend about his clingy behavior, give him some time to fix the problem. Also, be open for more healthy conversations so that everything starts falling back into place soon. Be empathetic and patient towards him so that he can work on self-confidence and build self-esteem.
5. Seek the Help of a Counselor
If things don't get sorted out between the two of you, seek counseling help. Couples counseling can greatly help you address the underlying issue and resolve the conflicts arising out of clinginess.
6. Know When to Call It Off
If nothing feels right in the relationship and you feel mentally exhausted due to the clinginess of your boyfriend, understand that it's time to move on. You must address your emotions properly, and if you have started feeling resentful towards your clingy boyfriend, it's best to walk away from the relationship instead of getting more hurt.
Love makes us do crazy things, and sometimes we are so blinded by the feelings of attachment and affection in a relationship that we tend to ignore the red flags. Being with a clingy boyfriend can turn out to be really unhealthy for the relationship if he doesn't mend his behavior. Give priority to your well-being and sort things out if your boyfriend shows signs of clinginess. Do not hesitate to set boundaries and take a stand for yourself to change his codependent behavior.
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