Why Your First Year of Marriage Sets the Tone for Your Future Together

Learn how to make the first year of marriage a success right here. Get practical tips and advice on how to stick together and win the battles that life throws at you.

Aastha Pahadia
Written by Aastha Pahadia , Certified Relationship Coach
Updated on Apr 08, 2023 | 11:36 AM IST | 280.1K
Why Your First Year of Marriage Sets the Tone for Your Future Together
Why Your First Year of Marriage Sets the Tone for Your Future Together

Marriage is a beautiful journey with lifetime devotion, love and the first year of marriage is often the most important. It's when couples set the course for the future of their relationship. They need to prioritize creating a strong foundation during this time that will provide the basis for a lasting and meaningful marriage. 

Remember that it's common to experience difficult times when you're in the initial stage. In this article we will explore difficulties you may encounter, priorities to set in the early phase and 5 surprising things we wish we knew before marriage.

Is The First Year of Marriage The Hardest?

The first year of marriage is often perceived as being the most challenging. It doesn't matter  if you've been in a relationship before marriage, it is still a fresh journey. As newlyweds, couples must adjust to merging two lives, as well as potentially establishing a home, managing finances, and creating a life of their own. As such, couples need to be proactive in setting a course for their future together during this early period. 

Being honest and having faith in each other is the only way to keep a marriage harmonious. Having ongoing conversations to understand each other’s expectations, dreams and values helps to create a shared foundation from which to build a successful marriage. Couples should also be mindful of the importance of compromise. Despite holding different opinions, it's crucial to be prepared to compromise and find common ground. 

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While it is healthy to have a measure of flexibility in life, having a shared vision of what the future could look like and goals to strive towards can help couples stay focused. This can include organizing a monthly budget or planning of parenthood. Couples are capable of creating an enduring relationship based on trust and support.

6 Common Red Flags to Watch Out for in Your First Year of Marriage

It's crucial to be aware of potential problems before starting your married life together. The first year of marriage is a phase where a couple can lay a firm basis and map their path for a long-lasting, happy union. While couples must work through their unique challenges, there are some universal warning signs to be mindful of. 

1. Continuous Arguments

Disagreements may occur even over seemingly insignificant things like keeping the washroom clean. It is necessary that one of you should maintain your composure to resolve the argument. 

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2. Lack of romance

Your partner might be unromantic or may be hesitant to show their affection. This may give you a sense of dissatisfaction, yet you can express your displeasure and expectation to them

One common red flag is the lack of communication.

3. Selfish Behavior

You may believe that your partner is being uncaring and ignoring you. It's okay to show you are discontent in an appropriate manner to them rather than keeping them to yourself.

4. Addiction

No matter when it occurs, including during the first year, addictions are dangerous to a relationship.

5. Domestic Abuse

The most serious red flag is domestic abuse, which should never be ignored or tolerated. You shouldn't tolerate abuse in silence because no one has the right to hurt you or torment you.

6. Financial Instability

Any unanticipated financial instability or prior liabilities of your spouse can lead to turmoil in the relationship. Couples should strive to have regular conversations about money and to develop a budget that works for both of you. It is important to be honest and open about your financial goals and to discuss expectations from the beginning. 

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By being aware of potential red flags and having honest, open conversations about issues that may arise, couples can ensure a strong foundation for their marriage.

9 Priorities to Focus on in Your First Year of Marriage

The newly wedlock phase is an exciting but challenging transition, as you and your partner adjust to life as a married couple, it is important to prioritize certain aspects of your relationship that will ensure a strong foundation. Here are 9 priorities to focus on in your early stage of marriage.

1. Communication

A successful marriage requires both partners to learn efficient ways to communicate. Understanding one another and resolving conflicts depend on having open and honest communication.

2. Financial Management 

Establishing sound financial practices from the beginning is necessary because money is an integral cause of stress in many relationships. Work together to create a budget and prioritize spending and saving.

3. Building Trust 

Trust is essential in any relationship, but it takes time to build. Work on building trust through open communication, being honest about your feelings, and working through conflicts.

4. Establishing Boundaries

It's necessary that you recognize exactly what behaviors are appropriate and inappropriate in your relationship. Establishing those boundaries early on will help to avoid potential misunderstandings and arguments down the road.

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5. Cultivating Intimacy

Relationship intimacy extends beyond the physical to include emotional and spiritual as well. 

Give time for physical interaction, dedicate quality time together, and nurture your relationship.

6. Respecting Each Other

Respect is integral to any healthy relationship. Make sure that you respect your partner's opinions, feelings, and boundaries.

7. Creating Family Rituals

Rituals within the family can serve as a powerful comfort and a means of fostering a sense of community. Create family traditions that you can look forward to sharing together by working together.

8. Planning for the Future

Talking about your common future aspirations can keep you both on the same page. The best way to succeed is to make a plan together and carry it out.

9. Maintaining Individuality

Keep your relationship feeling fresh and unique by preserving your individuality. Make sure to nurture your interests and hobbies, and support each other’s growth.

5 Surprising Things We Wish We Knew Before Saying 'I Do'

When two people get married, they frequently do so with great enthusiasm and excitement. 

It is important to be aware of some of the surprises and twists that can arise in the paradise of a newlywed.

1. Early Wedlock Period is the Key

The groundwork for your coming decades of marriage will be laid during this time. There are so many brand-new experiences established during that first year. You settle into a pattern and begin to experience married life's daily routine. It can be fantastic or awful, particularly if you combat more for yourself than for being in a companionship.

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2. Keep The Spark of Dating Alive

It may seem evident but after getting married, you cease dating one another, and after a few years, you will feel cut off. Date nights are meant to be enjoyable occasions for creating fresh memories, sharing tender moments, and laughing. 

3. Roses come with Thorns

Happiness and pain have an unbreakable bond, the person you love and care for the most may be one who is capable of hurting you the most. What makes marriage so lovely is how you deal with problems and work through your pain and hardship.

4. Ocean of Apologies and Letting Go

Marriage is an association where both have to take some responsibility for each other's wrongdoings. Even if one makes a mistake and says sorry, the other should have the tolerance to forget and move on.

5. No More SOLO

You are no longer a free bird, even if you two have nested your own paradise away from the families. You have to be considerate while making choices, how they will affect your partner and other people you care about.

What to Do If You're Struggling During Your First Year of Marriage

The initial period of marriage can be troublesome, there may be disagreements, misunderstandings, and even hurtful feelings. It’s important to remember that all marriages require time to adjust to what comes with marriage. If you’re struggling during your first year of marriage, here are some measures to take:

1. Take Time to Communicate

Talk about your feelings and problems. Ensure that both of you have an opportunity to speak.

2. Be Honest and Expressive

No matter how awkward or challenging those feelings may seem, you shouldn't be afraid to express them.

3. Stay in Tune with Your Partner’s Needs and Feelings. 

Don’t make assumptions and ask your spouse how they’re feeling and what they need.

4. Listen to Each Other

Don’t just hear the words being said, but try to understand the underlying meaning.

5. Take Time to Resolve Conflicts

Don’t let arguments linger, but work together to find solutions.

6. Seek Professional Help 

If you’re struggling to find common ground or resolution, consider seeking the advice of a marriage counselor.

Conclusion

The first year of marriage comes with many challenges and rewards. Consider the significant lessons you have learned as your honeymoon phase comes to an end. Don't undervalue the steps you've taken or the distance you've come. Look ahead to the next year and make a plan for continuing your journey together. You are preparing yourself for a solid and prosperous future by realizing the significance of the first stage of marriage.

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Also Read

What Is the Role of a Husband in a Marriage to Make It Successful?

FAQ's

What are the stages of the first year of marriage?
The first year of marriage is typically divided into three stages. The first stage is the honeymoon phase, where couples are full of bliss and optimism. The second stage is the adjustment phase, where couples begin to face the challenges of marriage and learn how to communicate. And last but not the least the resolution phase, where partners cooperate to find solutions and lay a solid foundation for the future.

What does the Bible say about the first year of marriage?
God designed marriage in the first place where he established it in the garden with Adam and Eve. The foundation of the first marriage was a potential commitment (Genesis 2:24). In which marriage involved three steps: disparity, cleaving, and unification.

Do most marriages end in the first year?
Several experts and statistical data show that most failed marriages occur within the first two years of a relationship. Another challenging period is from years 5 to 8, also referred to as the seven-year itch.

How many marriages end after the first year?
According to statistics, most first marriages end in divorce at a rate of 41%.

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About The Author
Aastha Pahadia
Aastha Pahadia
Certified Relationship Coach

Aastha is a certified Relationship coach and she strives to help those who seek expert advice on relationships.

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