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How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out? Here Are 21 Ways to Do This
Wondering how to get a guy to ask you out? Explore these amazing tips to make him initiate something more than just a friendship, without doing it yourself!
It may only have happened to Kate Hudson’s character that despite all her endeavors to “lose a guy in 10 days,” she only got him closer and found the love of her life (if you’ve watched the movie, you’ll know)! But in real life, our attempts to shoo a guy away may indeed be successful! Likewise, trying too hard to win him over would fetch the same results! Hence, the answer to “how to get a guy to ask you out” lies in avoiding the extremes; it means that you should hint your interest in him gracefully without losing your self-integrity in the process. It also means to stay true to your feelings without being petrified of rejection.
Why Aren’t You Asking Him Out Yourself?
Well, in today’s day and age, there’s nothing wrong with a girl asking a guy out. In fact, it is sometimes encouraged, as it takes the pressure off the guy, which is great. However, traditional romanticists indulge in the idea that a guy should ask a girl out. Some attribute this to the notion that guys love the chase, and a relationship that starts with him asking you out compared to one where you ask him out would be more fulfilling in the long run.
Even if you don’t strongly give in to this belief, indeed, many of us ladies get easily flustered when it comes to such matters and would be more than happy to have the guy ask them out. But this doesn’t mean that the girl’s role in this dynamic would be entirely passive. On the contrary, dropping hints to the guy or easing the process for him to ask you out would require more work and finesse, which — let’s be honest — isn’t a man’s strongest suit! So, you’d have to do it inevitably! Hence, you must know the right things to say and do to enable a guy to ask you out, which we will soon uncover in this article.
Here’s a Pre-requisite:
Having a crush on someone may cause dopamine to flood through your system. And that feels great — almost addictive! In such situations, many people allow their crush to get the better of them and focus less on other aspects of their lives, especially self-care and upliftment. However, as ironic or unfortunate as it sounds, the more we fixate on the romantic aspect of our lives, the more unsatisfying — or worse — disappointing it turns out to be.
While it’s good to engage your crush so they can ask you out, prioritizing that over other aspects of your life may be counterintuitive. It will make you come across as too available, or perhaps even desperate, which repels all decent guys and attracts only the kind that wants to take advantage of you. So, ensure you love and prioritize your happiness and personal growth first over enticing some guy. Also, when trying to get a guy to like you, have fun in the process, and don’t allow rejections to dishearten you much.
Things That You’re Probably Already Doing:
Do you find yourself talking in a louder, more feminine voice around this person? Do you burst into laughter with your friends every time he walks into the room, and you know he’s looking at you, but you’re not looking at him directly? Do you often tilt your head, brush your hair aside to expose your neck, or throw him an innocent “coquette look” in the middle of a conversation, like you’re the sweetest little thing on this planet? If you’ve managed to ignite a reaction in the guy each time you “involuntarily” play one of these tricks, chances are that there’s already some tension between you two! And that’s great! That’s the primer that we need before you go in with the foundation pointers listed below! Scroll away to check them out.
Here Are 21 Tips on How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out
1. Exude Confidence
This one is not only a dating hack — it is a pivotal life advice! People, in general, are attracted to confident individuals and are more likely to respect and trust them compared to those who lack confidence. Hence, have faith in yourself and be as confident as possible, or at least show that on the surface, especially on days when you’re feeling a bit self-conscious and vulnerable. Have faith in the fact that you are a strong, beautiful woman and that it is very easy for someone to be attracted to you!
When around the guy, don’t overthink your every move, such as things to talk about, what to order for lunch, or even where your hands should be when you’re talking! Be natural, and try not to be perfect! Trust us, the guy would be far more comfortable and happy to be around you.
2. Laugh At His Jokes
Evolutionarily speaking (no, we are not archaeologists), there are a few cheat codes to stroke a man’s ego — any man, for that matter! And laughing at their jokes is a major one that you shouldn’t miss. This doesn’t feel like a task when your sense of humor is naturally similar to his.
However, if that’s not the case with you two, you may want to bring up topics that easily make you crack up. If you laugh together and have a good time, the lines between who cracked the joke first soon get blurry, and all he ends up with is that you have a good time when you’re around him. Trust us girls, guys are not stingy when it comes to taking an ego boost!
Read More: 101 Funny Jokes to Tell Your Girlfriend to Impress Her
3. Focus on Your Strengths
So, you learned to seem confident around your crush? Great! It’s a strength in itself that you flaunt your personality like diamond jewelry! Even so, giving the guy a glance into your more specific strengths is important — but it doesn’t have to be too big.
Do you have fantastic organizational skills? Allow him to see how systematically you arrange your room, plan your weekly wardrobe, or make others' lives easy. Love entertaining people? Let the guy see how you make others happy and spread joy wherever you go. He would definitely be hooked on you.
4. Talk to Him About Your Likes And Dislikes
This is no rocket science. Talking about our likes and dislikes and that of others helps us connect better with people. And, if this guy likes you back and is planning to take you out on a date that you’ll love, such conversations would make his job easy, thereby increasing the chances of him asking you out.
5. Don’t Try to Embarrass Or Overpower Him
Are you a chronic overthinker who would go to the extremes to hide your crush for fear of embarrassment? We get you! But, despite this, resist being mean to him in order to hide your strong feelings. Some women, who are too nervous and conscious around their crush, tend to be sassy or sometimes, even rude to them, as a defense mechanism.
However, chances are that doing so would result in something much worse than if your feelings were out in the open. The guy would definitely not enjoy the energy you exude and would want to avoid it. Worse — he may say something mean to you, which you may not be able to handle. And that takes us to the next point —
6. Don’t Let Him Overpower You
If a guy has sensed that you’re interested in him and are shy about it, there’s a chance he may exploit this awkwardness to dominate you. Prevent this from happening to you at any cost! Be strong and stern, and don’t let the guy think that you are someone they can mess with. This way, you can filter out guys with red flags, and the right guy would only respect you more for this.
7. Allow Him Time to Miss You
Do you and your crush happen to meet often — perhaps at your office, class, gym, neighborhood coffee shop, bus stand, hobby class, etc? It may be nice to not be in close proximity to this person once in a while or even not be around. Of course, we’re not recommending you miss out on work or college because of this.
But, for instance, if your whole group of classmates or colleagues frequently plan to meet outside work or even grab lunch together every day, consider opting out once in a while to see how he reacts. You don’t have to go to extremes and make your social life suffer. But, you know the times when you just want a detox from all that noise and want to stay home all by yourself? This is a great opportunity to redeem those!
8. Hold Your Eye Contact
Do your eyes meet often with the person you’ve got a crush on? Great! Next time this happens, ensure you hold the eye contact for a second or two longer. This would help you see how they respond and establish a connection between you two. Also, this is a subtle way to let them know that you’re interested and that asking you out would be harmless.
9. Dress Well — But Don’t Overdo It
You may have heard a hundred times that men are visual creatures who get hooked onto something they see that looks attractive. Now, we’re unsure whether there’s scientific evidence to back this up, but anecdotal evidence suggests that physical appearance plays a vital role in men’s dating preferences.
Hence, it may be a good idea to indulge this by dressing up a bit. Not only will this attract his attention, but it will also make you feel extra confident in your skin, thereby increasing the chances of him asking you out. However, be careful not to overdo this. After all, we’re against trying too hard!
10. Find a Common Interest
Another no-brainer — having a common ground gives people an opportunity to bond and opens up a whole world of conversation starters. If you haven’t discovered any specific common interests yet — such as a sport or something like cafe-hopping — then, every time you have a conversation, see which topics light up his face. Once you do, try to share your views on those subjects and indulge in those topics of conversation more.
Read More: Questions for Couples to Learn More About Each Other
11. Let Him See You in Your Element
Arguably, nothing makes a person more attractive than when they are having fun and are in their own element. What are some things in which you find yourself enjoying to your fullest? Is it art, dancing, working out, cooking, or reading? Are you great at telling stories or making people laugh? Allow him to see that side of you as often as possible.
Is there any place that stirs up fond childhood memories, like the amusement park? Or a place that gets you really passionate about something, like a detour in nature? Find ways for him to see you in your purest, more unadulterated form to truly fall for you. If he would want more, doing this would increase his chances of asking you out.
12. Ask Him for a Small Favor
Ah, men! Always ready to help! Perhaps not everyone, but definitely the person they are fond of or have feelings for. Helping out a girl they like is a great way for men to connect with them, no matter how small the contribution is.
Whether you need this guy to drop you somewhere or simply need his muscle power to open the lid of a jar, go ahead and ask him to. If this guy is a gentleman, he would love to help you. In doing so, he would feel good about himself, will associate you with that good feeling, and would want to spend more time with you.
13. Make Him Jealous — But Not Too Much
Asked for his help? Great! Now, you may want to direct your attention to some other guy who can help you out with something, but not in a way that the other guy gets signals you don’t want to give. Maybe you can casually coin in the name of your male friends once or twice in a conversation or have this guy see you chill with other dudes you’re genuinely fond of.
If you pull this off without overdoing it, you can make a guy feel slightly on the edge, making him feel that he must ask you out before someone else does.
14. Compliment Him
Guy or girl — it doesn’t matter — who isn’t in for some compliments from a special someone, right? So, if there’s something specific about this guy that you truly appreciate (we are pretty sure there must be several), don’t shy away from letting him know. The key here is not to overwhelm him with false flattery just to get his attention, as that can be counterintuitive.
15. Mind Your “Body” Language
Place yourself in a situation where you want to talk to someone, but they seem too preoccupied with work. Maybe their arms are folded, their body is stiff, there’s an expression of frown on their face, or they’re fixated on their phone, not looking around at all. Would it be easy for you to approach someone with that body language, especially if it is something as vulnerable as wanting to ask them out? Probably not, right?
Well, if you get flustered and close up every time your crush is around, they will never get an opportunity to ask you out, no matter how desperately they want to. How to avoid being like this? Tip number one — work on your confidence.
16. Ask About His Weekend Plans
A first date with someone doesn’t have to be as elaborate as an expensive dinner at a fancy bistro. It can be as simple as getting ice cream together or doing something you usually do alone, but this time with this other person — such as watching the sunset at the beachside.
And, making such “hang-out plans” with you would definitely be less intimidating for the guy than asking you out on a proper date. So, ask him about his weekend plans or what they’re doing after work. If he believes that the activity would interest you, he may ask you to join him.
17. Show That You’re Busy But Also Interested
That being said, don’t just show that you’re busy but have important tasks to focus on instead of plotting about how to get the guy to ask you out. Have a life outside dating and balance all aspects of your life as well as possible. At the same time, don’t shy away from showing him that you’re interested by flashing him a smile as he walks into the room or asking him how his day was.
18. Tap Upon His Hero Instincts
Now, you don’t have to be a damsel in distress to make the guy feel like a hero around you. You can allow him to feel like a hero, particularly your hero, by simply thanking him for expressing gratitude for all the nice things that he does for you, such as opening the door for you, asking you about your day, providing solutions to you any problem you may have shared with him, etc. Make him realize that all the good things he does don’t get taken for granted, and that way, he’ll be motivated to do more of those for you.
Another thing — if he’s trying to do something important or help you out in some way, avoid correcting him or criticizing his ways too much, even if you feel you could’ve done it better. He’ll appreciate that you trust him and might ask you out.
19. Introduce Him to Your Friends
Introducing the guy to your close friends wouldn’t just make you feel more at ease and less flustered around him; it would also make it easier for him to warm up to you. After all, asking someone out requires one to be openly vulnerable, and the fact that you’ve introduced this guy to your friends would make asking you out less threatening for him.
20. Establish an Inside Joke
If you’re already friends with this guy and you both are part of a bigger group, then there may be many things that the whole group shares, not just you two, such as a shared hobby, volunteering activities, work, studies, travel, etc. However, an easy and rather special thing that you can easily share with only this person would be an inside joke!
Having an inside joke with someone sometimes blurs the lines between friendly banter and flirting. And having one is a great idea to get more intimate with one another instead of flirting in a more direct manner. Who knows — a dumb joke may be the starting point of a serious, wholesome relationship.
21. Drop Obvious Hints
If the guy you’re interested in is still not asking you out and seems oblivious to all your signals, it may help to drop obvious hints that you want him to ask you out. You can tell him how you miss going on dates sometimes or what would happen if you two were more than just friends. Be subtle at first to test the waters and see his reaction. However, if your gut strongly tells you that he’s already into you, you can be bold enough to ask him directly.
While you cannot make someone feel a certain way or change the way they feel, knowing how to get a guy to ask you out would definitely come in handy when you’re certain about their feelings for you. After all, even when we like someone, there can be several reasons why we don’t want to ask them out — shyness and the fear of rejection being two major reasons. If you feel your crush is going through the same thing, then you can help him immensely by following these tips. We really hope this article helps you!
ALSO READ: 105+ Pick-up Lines for Him to Make Your Guy Blush
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