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How to Make Someone Feel Better? 40 Great Ways to Do This
Wondering how to make someone feel better when they are stressed, worried, lacking hope, or feeling down in the dumps? These practical ways will help you out!
So, there’s someone in your life who’s either feeling sad, stressed, worried, or simply not their usual self. Well, that happens to the best of us, and we’re pretty sure you have been there too at some point. Hence, to understand how to make someone feel better, you can start by empathizing with them and placing yourself in their shoes first. This would help you get a perspective on what this person needs: a solution, a listening ear, some practical help, or just some space.
While we’re really proud of you for wanting to help this person, you need to know that you cannot take everything under your control and force negative feelings out of them — that’s not how this works! What may work is trying out some of the following points we’ve listed, which generally help cheer someone up. Read on.
How to Make Someone Feel Better: Do’s And Don’ts
1. Listen to Them:
When it comes to making someone feel better when they’re worried or sad, the very first and most important thing you should do is listen to them. By this, we mean understanding what they are trying to say without judgment, even if you may not fully agree with their perspective.
Pay attention to what they have to say, so you don’t miss out on details and can genuinely empathize with them.
2. Don’t Invalidate Their Feelings:
Invalidating the feelings of someone who is already sad would make them feel defensive. Hence, even if it wasn’t your intention, you’ll make them feel much worse than they were earlier.
After all, every person is different and processes problems differently. So, it is not only ineffective but also unfair to approach the situation by telling them they are wrong in feeling that way.
To avoid doing this, try imagining a time when you were in a bad place emotionally. Would you have appreciated it if someone told you that it doesn’t make sense for you to feel sad? If the answer is no, you know exactly what not to do in this situation.
3. Don’t Overreact:
Overreacting to someone’s problem would not make them feel better either. Some people do this actively to validate the person’s feelings, intending to make them feel better.
However, when we overreact, we signal to a person that they are indeed in a crisis and there’s no way to feel better about the situation. This closes all doors for them and pushes them deeper into their misery.
4. Don’t Interrupt Them:
While listening to someone’s problems, it is important that you resist the urge to interrupt them. Doing so can irritate a person and prevent them from getting the emotional clarity they want to get by sharing.
Furthermore, interrupting someone can prevent them from sharing their problems with you, as they would no longer trust you. Remember: knowing that you too went through something similar would not help a person if they haven’t had a chance to understand their problem yet. So, be patient when listening.
5. Don’t Force Positivity:
This emotional faux pas is something most people make when someone shares their hurt feelings. Often to give an optimistic perspective to someone, we make the mistake of forcing positivity on someone who hasn’t even processed their negative emotions yet.
This can be quite irritating and may appear to someone that you’re trying to invalidate their feelings, even if the opposite is true. If you’ve watched the movie Inside Out, you probably know that sadness is an important emotion, and a person cannot feel joy without it.
So, resist this urge and trust that this person will naturally come to feel better after sharing their feelings with you.
6. Be There for Them:
Sometimes, the solution to a problem is not in “doing” but in simply “being.” Chances are that your friend (or whoever the distressed person is) already feels grateful that you’re present with them when they’re feeling so vulnerable.
However, if you try to do something “extra” in this situation, you might ruin it. Understand that being there and spending quality time with someone is a kind deed in itself.
To do this well, avoid checking your phone or being distracted but instead, be fully present in the situation.
7. Offer Objective Advice (If They Ask for It):
If you feel that this person needs some advice, or asks for it directly, go ahead and offer it. You don’t have to do this when you don’t have an opinion about the situation. However, if you do have a solution in your mind, share it like a suggestion, without forcing it on the person.
8. Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice:
If the person does not ask for advice, it is because they don’t want one. So, if you have any advice, withhold the urge to share it until asked. Also, understand the fact that sometimes the only solution a person needs to deal with a problem is to vocalize it.
So, the best way you can help is to allow this process to flow naturally.
9. Don’t Bombard Them with Questions:
While asking some questions is always a good thing, you should know why you’re asking them in the first place. You are asking them to help the person in distress get more clarity on their problem by vocalizing it — not to satisfy your own curiosity about the situation.
Even if you don’t happen to get some details about the situation, it’s fine for the time being. How to make this person feel better is the priority here.
Practical Ways to Make Someone Feel Better:
While the above tips are great for having the person in distress walk you through their problem, the following are some practical solutions that allow you to “do” something about the situation.
10 . Indulge in Something Fun:
Sometimes, the best way to deal with heartbreak or release stress is to engage in fun activities. So, depending on what this person likes, you can initiate a plan with them. If they love retail therapy, you can go shopping with them.
If they are a film enthusiast, then take them to the movies. Other things you can do with them to cheer them up are bowling, watching an improv or stand-up show, hiking, picnicking at sunset, long drives, etc.
11. Encourage Physical Activity:
Whether a person typically likes physical activity or not, engaging in some form of exercise is excellent for everyone’s mental health. Exercising releases endorphins in the body, which improves mood and soothes emotional and physical pain (1).
Hence, you should encourage exercise or some other activity like playing a sport, going for a run, taking a pilates class, etc. to help them feel better.
12. Get Something Delicious to Eat:
If not endorphins, you can definitely cheer someone up with a boost of dopamine by getting them something delicious to eat (2). You can take your friend to their favorite restaurant, get them their favorite dessert, or order some pizza while staying indoors.
Also, if the person seems really heartbroken, remind them to not fret about calories and indulge more freely.
13. Talk About Lighthearted Things:
Many people prefer talking to their friends and loved ones to forget their worries, instead of solitude. If you know this strategy would work for this person, talking about light-hearted topics is a great way to make them feel better.
Bring up topics such as your favorite sports team, your high-school crushes, a movie you two liked, etc. to help them unwind.
14. Engage in Volunteer Work
“Do good to feel good” is another way to lift someone up and pull them out of their misery. Consider engaging in philanthropic work together, such as beach cleaning, donating food/clothes at a homeless shelter, teaching or mentoring underprivileged children, rescuing a stranded pet, etc.
And, if they end up adopting a cuddly pet for themselves, life’s going to be a lot happier anyway. Win-win!
15. Give Them a Productive Outlet
Have you and this person always wanted to start a podcast or a blog together? Consider using this heartbreak as leverage to focus on that project. Maybe you can help them jot down their sad feelings in a journal and use that to write a novel if they want to.
Or, you can motivate them to do something as basic as cleaning their room, organizing their work desk, prep healthy meals for the week, etc. Doing something productive may help replace their negative feelings with a sense of achievement.
16. Surprise Them with a Gift
While materials by themselves can’t bring happiness, a surprise gift can someone feel better instantly because they’ll feel grateful for your sweet gesture. If you’re doing this, then ensure you’re giving a thoughtful gift that someone has either wanted for a very long time, or is personalized in some way.
Read More: 25 Cute and Romantic Surprise Ideas for Boyfriend to Make Him Love You Even More
17. Cook a Meal Together
Eating is definitely a fun activity to indulge in, but what might make it even better is cooking together first. The simple activity can help them get out of their heads and ground themselves in the real world, which can be very rewarding.
18. Meditate Together
A practical solution that’s available for everyone is meditation, and you can encourage someone to meditate more by doing it with them. Meditation offers various physiological benefits such as stabilizing heart rate, blood pressure, breathing pattern, oxygen utilization, etc. in addition to psychological benefits such as calmness, reduced stress, and reduced anxiety (3).
19. Make Them Take a Break from Technology
While technology has its benefits, we’re all aware of how adversely it can affect our mental and physical health. Mindless scrolling and exposing oneself to unrealistic content on social media can worsen a person’s mental well-being, and trigger FOMO, anxiety, envy, loneliness, lethargy, etc.
Hence, try to keep someone from using the phone too much when they are not in a great mood.
20. Give Them Flowers
If nothing works, you can do the cliched thing and bring them flowers to cheer them up. After all, this is a cliche for a reason — it works!
Don’t always think that doing something productive or solving someone’s problems is the only way you can help them during difficult times. A sweet gesture such as this can instantly warm their hearts and make them feel a little better.
21. Practice Therapeutic Art Together
You don’t have to be an artist to do this. Unlike life, sometimes, therapeutic art is very forgiving and poses very little restrictions on what you can create. Besides, the fluid texture of the paints as well as the color options can be rather therapeutic. This is a fun and easy way to cheer someone up.
Ways to Cheer Someone up over Text
In life, you can’t always be physically present to make someone feel better. However, you can always cheer someone up with a funny text or a sweet, meaningful message. The following are some ways to do that.
22. Use Memes to Cheer Them Up:
If you’re running out of the right thing to say to someone who’s not feeling good, you can always use the support of memes to cheer them up. Funny memes and can lighten their mood and reduce emotional distress, especially if this person has a similar sense of humor as yours.
However, be careful to not make it seem that you are making fun of their problem, as what we’re trying to do is the exact opposite of that.
23. List Things You Appreciate About Them
If a person is sad or low because they aren’t feeling good about themselves, it’s a great idea to clear this misconception by listing out things you appreciate about them.
When doing so, jot down a mix of personality traits and physical attributes you like about them, so they feel happy about being a whole person and don’t feel that they are lacking anywhere.
That being said, keep the things in the list authentic and really think deeply about what you like about them instead of typing something superficial or generic.
24. Share a Feel-good Article Or Video Link
What you cannot do to make someone feel better can perhaps be done by a nice YouTube video, Instagram reel, or a blog like the one you’re reading right now. So, if you come across any such content that could lift them up, go ahead and share the link with them.
25. Share a Picture of You Two from Your Memories Folder
Reminding someone of good times that you had with them is a great way to make them feel good, even if that doesn’t solve their problems.
Especially when texting is the only option you have to comfort someone, you can share pictures of you two from your memories folder or social media archives. Nothing can go wrong with this strategy.
26. Ask Them How They Would Like to Be Supported
If you find yourself contemplating how to make someone feel better too much, consider asking them directly. Text them something like, “I really want to help. Tell me what to do,” or “I’m ready to help if you want something.” Even if all they want is for you to just be there, they’ll appreciate you asking this a lot.
27. Share a Funny Picture of Yourself
For someone who is close to you and you don’t mind being candid with them, consider sharing a funny picture of yourself. Social media filters really come in handy for this one!
28. Check If They Want to Talk More About It in Person
Even if you may be comfortable helping someone out over text, they may not want that. So, if this is available to you, ask them if they would like to call up or speak more about it in person.
29. Share Funny Quotes to Cheer Them Up
If this doesn’t work for this person, you can also share inspirational quotes to cheer them up. This strategy is very helpful if words of affirmation are their primary love language.
Read More: 51+ Funny Self-love Quotes That Will Enhance Your Mood Instantly
What to Say to Someone Who Is Stressed?
Negative feelings can comprise many different emotions. When it comes to feelings of stress, anxiety, worry, and lack of clarity, sometimes what helps the most is to feel less alone in that situation. Adding to that, a person needs a lot of reassurance that things will work out for the best.
The following are some things to say to people to cheer them up when they are stressed or worried.
30. “You Are Not Alone”
Telling someone that their reasons for worry — while valid — are common and experienced by most other people can help them feel better about the situation.
31. “Let Me Know How Can I Help”
Saying this shows reassurance and gives a person support and confidence that you have their back.
32. “It’s Okay to Feel the Way You Feel”
If a person feels guilty for being stressed or feeling bad about something, the best way to help them is to validate their feelings. This would immediately make them feel much better and shift their focus to more important things in life.
33. “Take a Break If You Need to”
For perfectionists and those prone to productivity guilt, taking a break or spending time on self-care can be quite a source of guilt. External reassurance that they can and deserve to take a break would help them feel much better.
Read More: 51 Solo Date Ideas for Unforgettable Me-time Adventures
34. “You’re Doing a Great Job Dealing with This”
Self-critical and anxious people can end up feeling worse about themselves despite doing their best to handle a situation.
If you reassure them that they are indeed doing a fantastic job at dealing with their problems, it can instantly convert feelings of self-doubt into motivation and help them excel.
35. “It Will All Fall in Place Eventually”
Uncertainty is among the biggest reasons for stress in life. Plus, not everyone can intuitively see a bright future for themselves and may worry about things turning out for the worse.
Saying this would help such people gain an optimistic perspective in life and stop them from fantasizing about everything that could go wrong.
How Do You Comfort Someone Who Is Sad?
It is normal to feel helpless and confused about what to do to comfort someone who is sad. After all, you don’t want to say the wrong thing and make them feel worse. The following are some tips to help you say and do the right thing to comfort someone who is sad.
36. Give Them a Tight Hug
Who doesn’t like to be hugged, right? Especially when a person is sad and vulnerable, a warm hug may be the thing that they need the most. Hence, when you don’t know the right thing to say, hugging someone is a great way to show love and care.
37. Pat Their Shoulder
If a hug seems like too much, patting one’s shoulder can be a safe and respectful gesture of showing your support. It is a good way to console someone who’s sad and make them feel understood and supported.
38. Frame Their Problem Carefully
It is easy to lose a rational perspective of things when a person is feeling down in the dumps. Hence, an excellent way to make someone feel better in such a situation is to frame their problem properly for them.
You can do this by either explaining your views or drawing out a chart or pros/cons list to help them assess their problems more objectively.
This would allow them to see that their current problem — no matter how painful — is not the end of the world, and there’s much scope for things to get better. You can also remind them that such negative phases in life would build their emotional muscle and make them stronger.
39. Remind Them That Time Heals Everything
Perhaps there is nothing much that can be done to solve this person’s problem. It’s just a lingering heartache that would pass with time. So, to make them feel better, remind them that time heals everything, and this too shall pass.
40. Do Something Nice
While you’re trying hard to make this person feel better, understand that you cannot control how they feel or what goes on in their life. What you can control though are your actions.
Consider using them in doing random acts of kindness for this person. Perhaps, you can tidy up their room, lend them a feel-good book, or simply make a mean cup of tea for them. These little acts of service would go a long way in helping someone feel better.
There’s no set rulebook about how to make someone feel better as every person is unique, their problems are different, and how they would respond to our kindness is going to be different too. So, if you try something and don’t get the response you were hoping for, don’t be too hard on yourself — you tried your best and your kind intention is all that matters.
Besides, some people just need some space before they can recover from their pain and feel like themselves again, so another thing you can do to help is simply take a step back and let them feel better on their own. Perhaps, that’s what they need more than anything else!
Sources:
1. Role of Physical Activity on Mental Health and Well-Being: A Review
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9902068/
2. Reward, dopamine and the control of food intake: implications for obesity
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3124340/
3. Meditation: Process and effects
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