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12 Unmistakable Signs of a Narcissistic Wife That Are Hard to Miss
While being with someone disagreeable can be challenging, the struggle is way worse when you’re married to a narcissistic wife — these signs can confirm that!
Sometimes, just a little more love and patience is not the solution to resolving a marriage. Especially, if you’re living with a narcissistic spouse, the only person who may require a little extra love and understanding would be yourself, as the former may be exploiting your niceness!
Like most toxic relationships, being married to an arrogant and self-absorbed wife can make you feel helpless, emotionally drained, and really unhappy. But somehow, you always find yourself trying hard to make things work with them, despite knowing deep down that your efforts are all in vain! As clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula says, “Most people don’t receive being called narcissistic as a compliment. And no matter how much we turn up our noses as it, paradoxically as a society, we reward it.” So, whether you decide to leave them or stay with them, it is important to recognize these patterns to prevent experiencing heartbreaks that take you by surprise.
Today, the word “narcissistic” gets thrown around more easily than at any other time in the past. However, not every arrogant and self-assured person that you may come across is necessarily narcissistic. Narcissism can be described as a combination of manipulative behavior, exploitative behavior, and abusive behavior, feeding a person’s augmented sense of entitlement.
Psychologists suggest that covert narcissists are often raised in high-pressure environments where their superficial aspects of life, such as physical appearance, academic performance, financial excellence, or the ability to climb up the corporate ladder have been heavily rewarded whereas their emotional health, morals, and personal values, etc. have been grossly neglected. Due to this, narcissists often approach romantic relationships with a lack of empathy, thereby negatively affecting the well-being of their partner or spouse.
We have listed the following 12 signs of a narcissistic wife to help you understand and navigate your relationship better. Keep reading to find out!
12 Telltale Features of a Narcissistic Wife to Watch out for
1. She Gaslights You:
One of the common ways that narcissists manipulate you is by making you question your own reality so that you keep fueling their volatile ego. This can be in relation to your emotions, personal values, intellect, or sense of judgment — you find yourself second-guessing them all! For instance, if you confront your narcissistic wife for being rude to your friends, then she’ll either justify her behavior, depicting you in the wrong, or completely deny doing anything like that.
2. You Feel the Need to Record All Your Conversations:
When your wife constantly denies having said or done something to upset you, you feel the urge to record all your conversations to give her proof of it. Having such courtroom-like necessities to navigate the littlest of conflicts between you two is a major red flag of a relationship with a narcissist. Besides, what makes the situation more unfair is that your wife may never feel such an urge to prove something to you, which signifies that she actively considers herself as the person of authority in your marriage.
3. She cannot Accept Criticism:
While narcissists may appear to be grandiose on the outside, they are deeply insecure beings at the core. Hence, it is painfully difficult for such a person to accept criticism, as they always view it as rejection. And while being sore losers, they are definitely not subtle about their response to rejection — no matter how small it may be. Do you always prevent yourself from pointing out your wife’s flaws, not because she’ll simply be upset about it, but because the reaction would be very ugly? Well, that’s a telltale sign that you’re married to a narcissistic woman.
4. She has an Undying Hunger for Validation:
Your narcissistic wife may frequently feel that she is not lauded enough for her inflated sense of greatness. She would seek this from all aspects of her life, be it a workplace, social circle, or intimate relationships, and would crave being the center of attention. This is a very obvious sign and quite easy to spot.
Regardless, most women have a primary emotional need for reassurance that should not be confused with the need for validation. This is because when she seeks reassurance, she puts you in a place of authority and trust, and cares about what “you” think of her. Validation, on the other hand, is more superficial and self-centered.
5. They Use You to Improve their Image:
Typically, a narcissistic partner will only care about your fitness, because they will feel embarrassed of you once you lose shape. While this is just one example, there are many other ways they use their partner’s superficial glory to improve their image, such as intelligence, wealth, social status, etc. So, if you constantly feel like your wife will leave you on losing any of the above, it is likely that she’s a narcissist — leading to our next point …
6. They Lack Depth:
“I always think of them as beautiful facades with not a lot behind them”, says Dr. Durvasula in reference to the characteristic lack of depth narcissists have. What shapes a narcissist in their childhood is an over-indulgence of their superficial laurels and an under-indulgence of their emotional and spiritual personality. Growing up, such people have been praised for their achievements in school, etc. while having their vulnerable sides shunned or neglected. If you inherently know that being vulnerable or sharing innocent feelings with your wife is not going to pay off, then it is an important red flag to take note of!
7. She Renders Your Emotions as Irrational:
Anything that comes close to proving the narcissistic wife wrong is rendered unreasonable by her, including your emotions. If it is a small issue that you open up to her about, she may laugh it off or call you too sensitive for feeling a certain way. If it is a bigger problem at hand, then she may take things up a notch and deny your “right” to be upset or disappointed as you were in the wrong all along! If you expect a similar response every time you get emotionally vulnerable with your wife, then it is a clear sign of narcissism.
8. She makes You feel Inadequate:
No human is perfect — which means regardless of how objectively successful or unsuccessful you are in life, your narcissistic partner will always find a reason to shatter your self-worth. Coercing you will be easy for her if you are going through a low point in life, such as the loss of a job, etc. But even if you make progress, such as getting promoted or losing weight, your wife will understate it by saying something like, “Is that all?” instead of appreciating it.
9. Yet, She Doesn’t See Any Flaws in Herself!
One of the most relentless qualities you will see in your wife is that she will never be able to see her own flaws, no matter how aggressively she points out those of others. Narcissists are very good at rationalizing and justifying their worst deeds, to the point of outraging others around them.
10. She Doesn’t Regulate Her Emotions Well:
You cannot expect a narcissist to be polite or contain their emotions. Regardless of what you do, things are bound to take an ugly turn if their ego is threatened or something does not go their way. Fits of anger, rage, jealousy, etc. may be (as horrifying as it sounds) commonplace in your marriage.
11. She Takes Pleasure in Other’s Misery:
While it is no news that your wife is mean, she will occasionally display her “sadistic” side too, to top it off. She may not think twice before criticizing, rejecting, exposing, or humiliating someone just to bask in their pain. What makes this trait of hers more noticeable than others is that it is dramatically in contrast with her own ability to take criticism or rejection. You may find your wife to be extremely vainglorious, perhaps, even delusional to be so entitled to laugh at everyone else but herself.
12. At Her Core, She’s Very Insecure!
Regardless of how pompous or self-assured a narcissistic person may appear to be, the truth is that they are deeply insecure on the inside. In fact, all their endeavors to appear superior on the outside are simply attempts to fill the empty void within them, which seems to give their life meaning. Once you realize how truly insecure your spouse is, you will likely refrain from questioning your self-worth when you’re around her.
Conclusion:
Narcissism (just like being a bad person) is not a diagnosable mental disorder as such people seldom feel the distress that they cause others themselves. However, if you’re married to a narcissistic wife or husband, then you have a very distressing married life ahead of you. While it ultimately depends on you whether you want to leave them or stay with them, it is best to consult a mental health professional when sharing a roof with such a spouse. Nonetheless, understanding a problem is considered to be half the problem solved, and the above-mentioned signs of a narcissistic wife will help you navigate your marriage better.
ALSO READ: Signs of a Narcissist Friend: Protecting Your Mental Health
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