120+ Questions to Ask Before Marriage And Know Your Partner Better
Before tying the knot, learn everything about your partner to be assured about your spouse with our comprehensive list of questions to ask before marriage.
They say marriages are made in heaven. However, to make them work on earth, a couple has to put in a lot of effort and commitment. It’s never never a smooth ride — a married couple often faces bumps every now and then, but this rocky road is definitely worth it if a couple is deeply in love and supports each other. Hence, to make sure that you are on this journey with the right person, it’s important that you understand your partner well before tying the knot. For this, there are many key questions to ask before marriage that you can use in your conversations.
Married couples can have different lifestyles — with one being an introvert who enjoys reading while the other being an extrovert who likes going to concerts — and that’s perfectly okay! Even so, being on the same page with your potential spouse when it comes to finances, having kids, parenting styles, intimacy, ethos, and values is very important to building a healthy relationship as a married couple.
Knowing basic things about your partner like hobbies, favorite artists, destinations, etc. is important. However, since marriage lasts for a lifetime, it’s more crucial to ask deep questions before marriage and get to know your partner better. Often, people are hesitant to ask questions before marriage, assuming their respective partners might feel bad or take things to heart. But not taking important things into consideration, like intimacy, finances, etc., as mentioned above can take a toll on your relationship in the future.
So, here’s a tip: don’t shy away from having a heart-to-heart conversation about your soon-to-be spouse. And if you are not great with coming up with questions, fret not — we have compiled a list of questions to ask before marriage and understand your partner’s priorities and preferences before saying ‘I do!’
120 Questions to Ask Before Marriage
Be it about finances, intimacy, or general stuff in life, we have covered all types of questions to ask your partner before marriage and get assurance that he or she is the “one!”
General Questions to Ask Your Partner Before Marriage
1. Why do you want to get married?
2. What does marriage mean to you?
3. What does your dream wedding look like?
4. What are the five key characteristics you look for in your partner?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. Which celebrity/cartoon character inspires you the most?
7. Are you spiritual? If not, why?
8. What role will our families have in our life as a couple?
9. What are a few deal breakers for you?
10. What type of music do you like listening to?
11. In what activities do you find solace?
12. What do you do when you feel sad?
13. What is your favorite travel destination?
14. Between money, fame, and power, which one would you choose?
15. Where do you want to settle after retirement?
16. How do you like to spend your leisure time?
17. How do you deal with changes?
18. How do you like to be treated when you are upset or angry?
19. Do you get angry easily?
20. What is something that attracts you to people?
21. Do you like pets? If yes, which ones?
22. Do you like posting daily activities on social media?
23. What is it about me that got you attracted to me?
24. How would you like to divide household chores and responsibilities?
25. How do you plan to support my career and ambitions?
26. How would you like to spend time on weekends?
27. Do you like to stay at home more or go out?
28. Books or movies: Which one would you choose to spend your leisure time?
29. Do you bottle up your emotions or vent them out?
30. Do you keep grudges or do you tell the person that they have done something that has hurt you?
31. What would you like me to do when you have had a bad day at work?
32. What type of gifts do you like the most?
33. Do you like celebrating your birthday in a quiet affair or throw an extravaganza party?
34. Do you believe in keeping your individuality intact in a marriage?
35. What are your views on having a friend of the opposite gender after getting married?
36. How will we plan to spend time on holidays?
37. What is your communication style?
38. How will we resolve conflicts, making sure we don’t do anything that hurts either of us?
39. When and where do you like to have important discussions?
40. Do you have any secret you wish to tell me before getting hitched?
41. What is your favorite childhood memory?
42. Who are your best friends?
43. Which is your favorite movie that you can watch again and again?
44. Which is your favorite TV show of all time?
45. What is your favorite cuisine?
46. Are you a good listener?
47. Do you suffer from any chronic disease?
48. What are your favorite conversation starters?
49. Are you open to a long-distance relationship?
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Financial Questions to Ask Before Marriage
50. How do we plan on splitting our earnings?
51. Do you believe in savings?
52. How much money do we plan on investing every month?
53. How do you like investing your money?
54. What is something that takes most of your income?
55. Savings or investing: Which one do you prefer?
56. What is something you would want to save up for?
57. Are there any current debts you are into?
58. How should we prepare ourselves for a financial crisis?
59. Would you like to have separate bank accounts after marriage?
60. How do you envision your life in 5 years?
61. What are your views on starting a family? Do you think we should first have enough savings before having a baby?
62. How many children do you think we should have, keeping in mind our financial capabilities?
63. Do you plan on having a will?
64. What are your views on making a budget to keep track of our expenses?
65. How well do you respond to a financial crisis?
66. What do you feel about having insurance for both of us?
67. How do you plan to prepare for retirement?
68. How do we plan for our kid's education?
69. Do you have a credit card?
70. How often do you use your credit card?
71. How much money would you want us to save every month?
72. How important do you think is healthy communication in a married life?
Deep Questions to Ask Your Partner
73. Are you religious? If yes, what does religion mean to you?
74. What does your dream home look like?
75. How do you define trust?
76. How important is loyalty to you in a relationship?
77. What important life lessons have you learned from your parent/s?
78. What is the meaning of commitment for you?
79. In what areas of life do you practice discipline?
80. At what times do you need space?
81. What is your biggest fear?
82. Do you believe in destiny playing a role in bringing a couple together?
83. Are you a believer in the law of attraction?
84. Is there anything in me that you would like to change?
85. What is your favorite memory of us?
86. What made you decide that I am the one for you?
87. Do you think there should be any of our families in our relationship?
88. How should I console you when you are sad?
89. What are some traditions you would like us to start in our married life?
90. How would you like us to communicate when we are going through hardships?
91. What do you expect my responsibilities to be?
92. How do you envision us growing older together?
93. Do you think true love stands the test of time? Why or why not?
94. What is your biggest regret in life?
95. How do you think we should keep the spark in our married life alive?
96. How would you like us to handle family conflicts?
97. What is something about our relationship that truly makes you happy?
98. If we start facing any kind of problems, are you open to going to a marriage therapist and getting marriage counseling?
99. What type of relationship do you think stands the test of time?
Intimate Questions to Ask Before Marriage
100. How do you like to show love?
101. What is your biggest turn-on?
102. If we eliminate physical intimacy from our relationship, what would be your view of us as a couple?
103. What is your biggest turn-off?
104. How would you like us to be emotionally intimate with each other?
105. If my physical appearance changes, will that affect our intimate relationship?
106. Physical vs. emotional intimacy: For you, are they both equally important or one is more important than the other? If yes, what’s more important for you to stay in a happy marriage?
107. Have you ever contracted any STD?
108. How do you like to initiate love-making sessions?
109. Do you like public displays of affection?
110. Do you like hugging and cuddling?
111. What’s your favorite type of hug?
112. Do you love getting morning and good night kisses?
Questions About Children to Ask Before Marriage
113. Do you like kids?
114. If you like kids, how many do you want us to have?
115. How long do you want us to wait before having a kid?
116. What are your views on adoption?
117. When we have a kid, how do you plan on dividing the chores?
118. What is your ideal parenting style?
119. What are a few things that you learned during childhood and would want your child to learn the same?
120. When having a busy schedule, how do you plan to spend time with your kids?
121. How would you instill good values and ethics in our kids?
122. How would you discipline our kid/s?
Questions About the Past to Ask Before Marriage
123. Do you have any ex?. If yes, are you in touch with him/her?
124. Is there anything about your past I should be aware of?
125. Is there any childhood experience that made a life-long impact on you?
126. Do you keep gifts from your previous relationships? Why or why not?
127. Did you have a nice childhood?
128. Did you ever indulge in a bad habit?
129. Have you ever had a phase when you had the worst time of your life? How did you come out of it?
130. Have you ever been abused?
It’s said love can’t be defined in words and that’s true — in reality, what makes a long-term commitment work is mutual understanding, care, respect, and loyalty between the couples. When a couple shares similar values and aspires to be together, a marriage becomes successful.
However, as sad as it is to say this — not being on the same page alluding to the roles and responsibilities can eventually cause a marriage to doom! Fortunately, engaging in deep conversations and having the right questions to ask before marriage can help you get to the core of your partner’s personality and give yourself assurance that you are making the right choice!