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25 Red Flags in a Relationship That You Should Not Miss
Relationships are beautiful only if a couple has a mutual understanding. If you notice any red flags in a relationship, rethink it before it's too late.
Red flags in a relationship are signs that show your partner isn't the ideal one for you or that your relationship has some major issues that need to be resolved. Taking note of these common signs is key to avoiding heartbreaks or regrets down the line.
Red flags may appear in different forms and can be of various kinds:
- Red flags can include concerns about your partner's nature, personality, outlook toward life, and behavior toward you.
- Healthy communication lays a strong foundation for a relationship. Red flags may also include concerns about the way you communicate with each other.
- A relationship is not just about your partner, it also concerns you. If you are experiencing sadness or feel your mental health deteriorating during a relationship, you may be experiencing red flags concerning your sense of self, confidence, and security.
According to a study conducted by University College London, when in love, the human brain reacts differently to the negative characteristics of a person. It decreases our social judgment capacity and makes us focus only on the positive attributes of a person. The research suggests that both romantic and maternal love can make us blind emotionally and lower the chance of assessing someone critically (1).
Therefore, it becomes all the more important to keep our eyes open all the time in a relationship to avoid being hurt. Read on to learn more about some of the warning signs to watch out for in a relationship.
Top 25 Red Flags in a Relationship You Must Know About
Love is a powerful feeling that can make you lose all your senses. It can move mountains, but when it is with the wrong person, it can also shatter you. When starting a new romantic connection, it is easy to be swept away by the rush of positive emotions and ignore the red flags in the relationship. This may eventually lead to major conflicts and heartbreak. Let’s read about the relationship red flags you should be careful about right from the get-go.
1. Invasion of Privacy
If your partner doesn't trust you and wants to know where you are all the time, know that this is controlling behavior and must not be encouraged. Insisting that you share your passwords to your social media handles, snooping on your phone to scroll through your messages, checking your call logs, and asking too many questions about your friends or your whereabouts are signs that there are trust issues and a lack of privacy in the relationship.
2. Lies And Manipulation
The life of a lie is very short. If you are in a relationship wherein your partner has the habit of lying or manipulating you to think he lied for a good cause, call it off before you get hurt. This manipulative behavior can also be seen as a sign of abuse and it is crucial to be away from such unhealthy patterns.
3. Always Dwelling in the Past
We all have baggage but it is not okay to live in the past and think about your ex all the time. If you find your partner comparing you with their ex or always talking about how comfortable they were in their past relationships, see it as a red flag. Note that it is important for your partner to talk about their past, but going overboard with it might mean they are still not over their breakup. Nobody wants to be in a rebound relationship, so communicate properly with them about what's going on.
4. They Indulge in Body-shaming
Shaming someone because of how they look is a nasty thing to do. Be it intentional or subtle, any remarks on your body must not be taken casually. If your partner tells you to ditch food because you are fat or tells you your legs are too skinny, ask them to stop right away. Keep your head held high and rethink the relationship if you get body-shamed all the time.
5. Being Emotionally Unavailable
A major prerequisite of a healthy and loving relationship is to be able to talk about your feelings to your partner. If your partner doesn't lend you an ear to listen to your problems, it might indicate they are not much interested in you. Emotional unavailability is one of the biggest early red flags in a relationship you must be careful about.
6. They Don't Want You to Meet Their Friends And Family
If you have been dating for a long period, it is natural to have expectations of meeting your partner's friends or maybe family members. If your partner always shuts you whenever you bring up the topic of hanging out with their friends, it might be a sign they are hiding something. A reluctance to introduce you to their close friends or family members may also indicate that they are not really serious about the relationship. In any case, it is worth bringing up a conversation so that you can get clarity about their behavior and some insight into where your relationship is headed.
7. They Are Always on Their Phone
Mobile phones are an integral part of our lives. From playing games to booking snacks, everything is done from a smartphone these days. But that doesn't mean one should gaze at their phone constantly when they are with their special one. If you constantly try to grab your partner's attention and make them look at you instead of their phone, it can be a warning sign they are not very interested in you.
8. They Burden You with Everything
An ideal relationship is a 50-50 partnership. However, if your partner relies heavily on you to an extent where you feel overburdened, it is time to have a one-on-one conversation with them.
9. They Criticize You for Everything
One of the biggest red flags in a relationship you must watch out for is persistent or constant criticism. In a healthy relationship, two people want the best for each other. They are honest about their strengths and flaws and help each other out to be the best version of themselves. However, if you see your partner criticizing you for every little thing you do, there is something not right here.
10. They Ignore You
A couple needs to spend some quality time together to keep the magic alive in their relationship. If your partner always dodges your calls or postpones plans or dates, it is time to think about where the relationship is going.
11. They Don't Give You Me-Time
A co-dependent relationship can be suffocating. You can't always be in front of each other 24*7. If your partner doesn't allow you to breathe and indulge in me-time, take a pause and think if the relationship is worth it.
12. They Often Make Sexist Jokes
In modern times, women are not behind men in any field. Jokes about women being bad drivers or belonging only in the kitchen are not only derogatory but also lame. It might be okay if your partner passes a misogynistic joke once in a while in zest but stops when you ask him to. But if it's a regular habit, it is better to steer clear of people who pass sexist comments. This goes for men too - if your partner often passes comments like 'men don't cry', 'you are not a man if you are not into sports', and so on, take a deep breath and think about the relationship.
13. They Blame Everything on You
Humans make mistakes all the time but it is crucial to accept them and move on. If your partner blames you for the blunders they have made, it is a sign of a toxic relationship. It can manifest as making you feel guilty for everything that goes wrong, including judgemental errors on their part. This is one of the most important controlling relationship red flags to watch out for and you need to ensure that you stand your ground and don’t take on blame for things that you are not responsible for.
14. They Don't Value Your Opinions
A relationship is all about valuing each other's opinions and taking decisions mutually. In a relationship, it is important to check if your partner gives importance to your opinions and beliefs or not. If not, remember that this is one of the red flags in new relationships that you should not ignore at all.
15. They Take Financial Matters for Granted
Money is required for survival and enjoying life. If your partner lies to you about their savings or debt or doesn't take finances seriously, it's better to communicate this problem clearly to them before the relationship starts suffering. Hiding facts about finances or being casual about financial discussions or decisions can be one of the biggest financial red flags in a relationship.
16. They Belittle You Publicy Infront of Everyone
Taking an innocent jibe at your partner can get some laughs and banter between the two of you in your private space is fun till the time it's done when you two are alone. However, if your partner mocks you, disregards you, or belittles you in front of friends and family, or in public places, you may look at it as a red flag. for something publically, shut them off and assess your relationship. Everyone has flaws, but they should not be addressed publicly. If your partner humiliates you in front of his friends/family as a matter of habit or a little too frequently for comfort, you may want to discuss it or rethink the relationship.
17. They Are Overly Possessive
A little possessiveness may be considered cute in a relationship but when it goes too far, it can feel very restrictive. Being possessive is one of the most common red flags in a new relationship that must be taken seriously. If your partner is jealous of your friends, wants every single little detail regarding your whereabouts, and gets suspicious or acts out when you meet other people, it's time to consider your options for a better relationship.
18. They Are Being Pushy
Slow and steady wins the race - this adage can also be applied to relationships. It is pivotal to take things slow and get to know a person from both inside out before going into serious mode. If your partner is rushing things and insisting you move in together or get engaged soon, evaluate your relationship again. You should not do anything in the heat of the moment. Before any big step, you must be sure you want to spend the rest of your life with this person.
19. They Don't Address You as Their Partner
In the initial days of a relationship, it is difficult to understand where it is going. But if you have been dating for months or years and your partner still doesn't label you as their better half, it's time to start asking yourself why.
20. They Have an “I, Me, And Myself” Attitude
A relationship flourishes when two people participate equally in it and have an equal say in everything. One of the most significant red flags indicating an unhealthy relationship is when your partner thinks everything revolves around them. Maybe you always indulge in activities your partner likes. If that's the scenario in your relationship, you must understand that this behavior is not right. It can be a sign that your partner does not value you or care about your opinions and preferences.
21. They Do Everything to Please You
It is said that on a first date, you should not reveal everything about yourself. Most importantly, refrain from talking deeply about what you are looking for in a partner. This can make a person put on a mask and recreate themselves to make you like them. If you feel your partner doesn't have a voice and does everything to impress you, take it as a warning sign. While this sounds super adorable in the beginning, being in love with someone who pretends to be someone they are not can strain your relationship. You can tell the other person that you want to love them for who they are, but if they keep on putting up a mask to keep you in their life, it's time to rethink the relationship.
22. They Are Rude to Others
If you want to see how a person is, observe their behavior around others. Obviously when on a date they'll try to be sweet, especially with you, but you must notice how they talk to people around them. If they are not polite and don’t respect others, understand that this is one of the most crucial red flags in a relationship, and you must stay away from such people.
23. Your Future Goals Don't Match at All
Maybe you want to have a childless life, and your partner is eager to have a kid. Or maybe you want to be a stay-at-home parent and your partner wants you to be working always - having different value systems and ways of life can become a hurdle in your relationship. It is okay if your lifestyles don't match, as in you can be an introvert and your partner can be an extrovert. But when we talk about core matters like trust, family values, parenting style, finances, and religion, you must be on the same page. Talk about these things and see if you can make compromises, or else these small issues can create bigger problems in the future.
24. They Hesitate to Talk about the Future
One of the biggest red flags in a relationship is when your partner doesn't talk about the future at all. If it's been a long time since you are in a romantic relationship with your partner but they always ignore questions about the future, you have to be wary of the relationship.
25. You Have Difficulty Sharing Feelings
Emotional intimacy is as important as physical intimacy to keep a relationship alive and healthy. Sharing feelings and deep thoughts, and communicating with each other is the root of intimacy. If you or your partner feel communication between you two is challenging, it might be a red flag.
Conclusion
A relationship thrives on trust, loyalty, understanding, care, and respect. If even one of these is missing, it won't last and you'll end up hurting yourself. Many times, the red flags in a relationship are right in front of us, but we neglect them thinking it's all going to be rosy and beautiful in the end. This is the time when you need to awaken your senses and communicate with your partner about the problems in the relationship. Also, don't forget to seek help from your friends or family members if you notice any red flags and feel you are in an abusive relationship. They might evaluate everything better and give you the right judgment. If a relationship doesn't work out, don't lose your hopes, and keep practicing self-love before you find the one.
Sources
1. The neural correlates of maternal and romantic love
Relationship Advice: 9 Red flags you should never ignore in a relation
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