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15 Signs a Married Man Is Using You And What You Can Do About It
Discover the signs a married man is using you: secret texts, canceled plans, empty promises, and more. Protect your heart with our guide. Don't be the other woman!
There's nothing more devastating than finding out that the man you have invested time and emotions in is already married and using you as his side chick. Being the "other woman" can leave you feeling unloved, betrayed, and frustrated. If you find yourself trapped in this cycle, it’s important to identify the signs a married man is using you.
Married men who are unfaithful are often very charming and manipulative. They know what they want and use every trick in the book to get it. Their victims, on the other hand, are vulnerable, naive, and often blinded by their love and affection.
If you're currently involved with a married man or suspect you might be, it's time to take a closer look and consider your options. Stay with us, and let us guide you through the common signs that your partner is married and using you.
15 Telltale Signs a Married Man Is Using You
It's never easy to confront the truth when you're caught in a web of lies. For single women who find themselves entangled in an affair with a married man, the reality can be heartbreaking. It's easy to miss the red flags, but when you know what to look for, it's not too late to walk away before things get any worse. Here are 15 signs a married man is playing you:
1. He Cancels Plans at the Last Moment
As a married man, his life revolves around his family. He must attend to the needs of his sick child, assist his wife, or complete unforeseen tasks on weekends. If his wife feels doubtful about his commitments, he'll drop everything and shower her with attention to ease her concerns.
Unfortunately, this means you may find yourself frequently abandoned or left hanging. Despite never being a commodity, there's a likelihood that you're being taken advantage of in this dynamic.
2. You Are Not Allowed to Reach out to Him
You are merely a puzzle piece in the married man's life, neatly compartmentalized and unable to interact with any other piece. Your compartment is strictly regulated, allowing for only a few fleeting moments of communication even in the dead of night.
An obvious sign of being used is when you sacrifice your own time and obligations, eagerly waiting for this limited contact. And if he becomes angry when you are unable to respond, that should raise another warning flag.
3. You Can’t Be Seen with Him in Public
You want a nice date with him at a fancy restaurant or the movies, but he doesn't want people to see you together. Instead, he keeps you happy by giving you your favorite food and watching movies at home. You agree, even though you're not really happy about it. That’s when doubts like “a married man is using me” begin to creep into your mind.
Over time, you start feeling like he's just using you to make himself feel better. You realize he's only nice when he wants something, and even though he helps you financially, you see that you're stuck doing what he wants to keep things calm.
4. He Frequently Talks About His Wife
Some married men may stray from their spouses, not because they stopped loving them, but because they've lost a particular connection. That's where you come in — a substitute for that emotional void.
But don't be fooled, if he only speaks of her to you, it's not because he has genuine feelings for you, but because he needs a shoulder to cry on. A place to release his worries, and you're the one he's chosen to confide in.
You might feel obligated to be his emotional crutch, and you can't help but console him. Just know that he may only have shallow intentions with you. He might bad-mouth his significant other or compare the two of you, but even so, she remains his primary focus.
5. He Tries to Manipulate You
There is no denying that some women feel an adrenaline rush from being a highly coveted object that surpasses even the wife. As twisted as it may be, the sad reality is that everyone yearns to be desired. Nevertheless, things start getting murky when married men start using these emotions as a plaything.
If you ever dare to ask him about his whereabouts or reasons for not getting in touch, and he casually tosses around responses such as "I already have that at home, no need to bother with it," then it's clear that he doesn't respect you enough and is likely just toying with your heart.
6. He Offers Nothing But the Present to You
No one ever imagines encountering a married man and snatching him from his significant other, but such situations do exist. These affairs revolve around “when we are together” and “I’m waiting for the divorce to be done” phrases. In case your married lover is not considering a prospective life with you, he is just relishing the perks of having the best of both worlds.
The warning sign of a married player transforms into a full-blown alarm when you raise the topic of future plans, and he either disregards or gets annoyed about it.
7. He Waltzes in And out of Your Life at His Own Leisure
This is one of the biggest signs a man is using a woman. A man with a married life has no obligations to you whatsoever, not even in his wildest thoughts. If he disappears for days or even weeks, he won't bother considering your existence.
He treats his time with you like currency, with every interaction serving as a transaction. He may spend a weekend with you, sharing moments of intimacy and tenderness, only to disappear for weeks without a second thought.
8. He Doesn’t Talk Much About Your Life
At the beginning of a new relationship, whether it's illicit or not, there is an excitement to learn more about each other — sharing goals, passions, and beliefs. Unfortunately, if you happen to be in a relationship with a married man who is only looking for a fling, don't expect him to inquire about your personal life. Your favorite drink and even the name of your beloved pet are not of any concern to him.
This kind of behavior is most likely exhibited by men who feel inadequate in their marriage and seek validation elsewhere. In this case, you are simply a tool to help build his ego, and your desire for a happy ending is not on his agenda.
9. He Takes His Affair with You Very Lightly
Infidelity should not be taken lightly. Married men who claim that it's in their DNA and "men were born to be polygamous" demonstrate a complete lack of regard for women, especially for you. The nonchalant attitude towards the situation reflects the absence of respect for anyone other than himself, and even that's questionable.
There's bound to be an injured party, and it's likely that it will be you. If he isn't bothered by this, then he's only using you for as long as you're not suffering.
10. He Meets You at the Most Unexpected Times And Locations
A man concealing a secret will cleverly manipulate the place and time of your rendezvous. He could arrange for a midday meal in a distant area, or arrange to meet for an early dinner at a quiet establishment to dodge acquaintances who might recognize him.
His deep-seated fear of being caught, mixed with the seductive appeal of the secret liaison, becomes the driving force of your relationship. So if he chooses to keep you hidden away, it's improbable he's looking for anything beyond a short-term fling.
11. You Can’t Make Holiday Plans with Him
In fact, he won't even give you a ring on Labor Day to celebrate or give you a slice of Christmas week. The holiday season can turn even the most evil cheating man into a doting husband, and though he might vow to meet you for a present exchange, it's never set in stone.
You might end up getting that gift on January 8th, and he'll make it clear that he's not around for Valentine's Day to preempt any argument.
12. You Cannot Follow Him on Social Media
His digital persona is a carefully curated segment of his life that he cannot risk tainting with the uncertainty of a new female friend request or a sudden flurry of gym selfie likes.
While he may accept your request, don't be surprised if you're quickly hidden, unfollowed, and relegated to a list where you'll remain invisible to others.
If you’re told not to like, comment, or engage with his social media posts, it's a surefire sign the married man is using you to fulfill a certain need that doesn't belong in his public profile.
13. He’s Gone When It Becomes Dull
An extramarital affair may encounter a few obstacles along the way, yet a husband capitalizing on it will evaporate into thin air like a phantom. Without concrete evidence, other than text messages (which he can argue are fabricated or sent through a hidden device his partner isn't aware of), he will act like he's a total stranger.
In instances where he reaches the limit, he might even go as far as warning of a restraining order, citing concern for his family's well-being.
14. You Can’t Take Any Photos of Him
It's imperative for a cheater to keep their actions under wraps, as incriminating pictures can easily be used against them in a court of law during a divorce case. Those pictures offer you a level of influence and authority that he'll do everything in his power to avoid if he's solely using you for his own gain.
Moreover, he may expect you to provide him with steamy, seductive photos that he can indulge in, all because, let's face it, it's always about fulfilling his own desires and requirements when he's exploiting you.
15. He Won’t Introduce You to Anyone Else
Despite being legally separated, married men are still tied to their marriage. And for those who haven't tied the knot, let us fill you in — when the divorce proceedings come to a close, the judge will ask a vital question: "Is there any way to save this marriage?"
Until both sides declare an emphatic "No," there's a possibility of one spouse trying to convince the other to return.
Even if his excuses seem plausible, it's highly probable that a man who won't integrate you into his social circle is using you for a rebound or some kind of payback.
Getting involved with a married man can be an incredibly complex and difficult situation. You might feel helpless, confused, or even used in this type of scenario. If you find yourself in this predicament and notice the above signs a married man is using you, it's important to remember that you have the power to take control of the situation and protect yourself.
What to Do If a Married Man Is Using You?
Being in a relationship with a married man is never easy, and it's important to remember that you deserve better than to be used and disrespected. Here are some steps to take if you find yourself in this situation:
1. Acknowledge the Reality:
It is essential to recognize that a married man who is using you is not going to leave his wife for you. Regardless of his excuses or promises, his primary commitment is to his spouse and family. Do not fall into the trap of thinking that you can change him or that his love for you is strong enough to overcome his marriage.
2. Cut off All Communication:
To break free from a man who is using you, you must stop all communication with him. This means deleting his phone number, blocking him on social media, and avoiding any places or events where you know he will be present. This step can be challenging, but it is crucial for your healing and well-being.
3. Seek Support from Loved Ones:
When going through a challenging situation, it is vital to have a support system. Lean on trusted friends or family members who can offer emotional support and encouragement. Consider joining a support group or seeking the guidance of a professional therapist.
4. Focus on Yourself:
Use this experience as an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. Take the time to reflect on what you want and need in a healthy relationship. Pursue hobbies and activities that bring you joy and fulfillment.
5. Protect Your Heart:
It can be easy to fall into the same pattern of being with a married man, but remember the pain it caused. Be careful not to get involved with someone who is already in a committed relationship. Take time to focus on your emotional health and make sure you are ready to pursue a new relationship with someone who can love and respect you fully.
Conclusion
Being aware of the signs a married man is using you is important for your own emotional well-being and overall happiness. It may be tempting to continue a relationship with a married man, but ultimately it will lead to heartbreak and disappointment. Remember, you deserve someone who can give you their full attention and devotion. Don't settle for less than you deserve. Recognize the blatant signs and move on to find someone who will treat you with the respect and love you deserve. It may be a difficult decision, but in the end, it will be worth it. Always choose yourself and your own happiness.
ALSO READ: 9 Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings for You: Unlock Hidden Emotions
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