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50 Biggest Turn-offs in a Relationship That Can Negatively Affect It
Everyone has an individual list of turn-offs in a relationship, which can be deal breakers for them. This list entails some common ones, to help you rectify them.
It isn’t uncommon to find most things endearing about one’s romantic partner, and then reach a point where some of their traits start to get annoying. If we don’t pay attention to why we don’t like what we don’t like and proceed in the relationship by ignoring or bottling those feelings up, it can lead to constant fights, arguments, and a lack of understanding between the partners in the future. Simply put, it is extremely important to identify what your biggest turn-offs in a relationship are and work on them before they lead to something bigger.
Now, some people are afraid of paying attention to turn-offs as they believe that that can affect how they see their partner. However, a healthy relationship isn’t about being in denial of its issues, but embracing all imperfections of ourselves and our partners fully, as that makes the good parts even more satisfying! That being said, let’s scroll away to learn about some common turn-offs in a relationship so that we can work to fix them!
50 Biggest Turn-offs in a Relationship
1. Poor Hygiene
One’s personal hygiene speaks louder and faster than any other trait. Simply put, no one wants to be near someone gross — not by a long shot! Bad hygiene — bad body odor, unclean teeth, foul breath, and dirty habits — is not only unpleasant but also rude and a social faux pas! And, while people can be more forgiving of strangers, it is particularly off-putting when you’re in a relationship with someone.
2. Bad Manners
How would you define an obnoxious person? Someone who speaks too loud and inappropriately in public? Someone who has gross food manners or spending habits that cost one a fortune? Is it someone who enters without knocking? Or, someone who doesn’t say “please”, “sorry”, or “thank you”... like, ever? It is a major turn-off when the person you’re in a relationship with has such bad manners. And, while it’s fixable, it’s not one’s partner’s responsibility to teach them basic good manners.
3. Not Putting in Efforts
It can be as small as not taking care of your appearance, to something severe, like not taking care of your partner’s well-being — nonchalance can sometimes be detrimental to a relationship. After getting into a relationship, people often start putting less effort into maintaining it and take it for granted. This is a big turn-off and such relationships fizzle out very soon.
4. Lack of Respect
A healthy relationship is defined by mutual respect and love. Whether it’s a lack of respect for each other that’s a problem or a lack of self-respect, both can be major turn-offs in a relationship.
5. Cocky Attitude
Even if it may seem alluring at the beginning of a relationship, no one wants to spend too much time with a pompous know-it-all. In fact, arrogance is a popular turn-off and most people know that they should be wary of it!
6. Self-absorbed Attitude
Care is supposed to be shared in a relationship. Being in it with a person who cares about no one but themselves is a big red flag! Fortunately, it isn’t very difficult to spot a self-absorbed attitude either, which means that partners can call it quits as soon as possible.
7. Lack of Clear Goals in Life
We start having a crush on someone when we see qualities in them that we admire. However, once we get into a relationship with them and realize that they don’t have any life goals or ambitions to look forward to, it can be a major turn-off! While ambition or goals are unique to every individual, lacking them entirely speaks volumes about a person.
8. Relentless Insecurity
Everyone has insecurities. To an extent, we all like to share our insecurities with our partners and hear theirs too, so we can help each other feel better. However, for this to work, a person should be willing to resolve their anxious attachment style and move ahead in life. After all, holding on to one’s insecurity more than the relationship itself can be a massive turn-off for guys and girls alike.
9. Lack of Empathy
A big emotional turn-off is when your partner lacks empathy and seems indifferent to your or other’s feelings. Perhaps they are too soon to crack an insensitive joke or fail to understand that you too are probably tired from a long day of work.
Such people are simply unable to place themselves in someone else’s shoes, which makes it very difficult to have a healthy relationship with them.
10. Dismissive Attitude
This one is closely linked to the previous point. When a person doesn’t understand the emotions of people other than themselves, they may start to dismiss things that matter to them, which is way worse than having an honest disagreement!
11. Ruminating Over the Past
Of all things mentioned on this list, this one is an instant turn-off. Forget a relationship — a person would lose interest when they find out that you only talk about your past problems, in the first few dates.
12. Lack of Trust
This doesn’t need much explaining! If there isn’t much mutual trust between you and your partner, then it will adversely affect the emotional and physical intimacy you two share. In such cases, you may find yourself wanting to step out of the relationship as soon as possible!
Read More: 60 Fake Love Quotes: Exposing Deception in Relationships through Words
13. Lack of Commitment
While there’s some satisfaction in making a commitment-hesitant partner still be in a relationship with you, this trait can start to lose its charm very soon! After a while, almost everyone realizes that they deserve better than to be left questioning the foundation of their loving relationship, and stop rewarding this behavior.
14. Lack of Accountability for One’s Mistakes
Arguments and disagreements are quite natural in relationships. However, what makes one want to look beyond them is that both parties take accountability for their mistakes from time to time, and don’t refrain from apologizing.
If a person never apologizes and regards their ego as more important than the relationship, then it’s a red flag more than just a turn-off. And, that takes us to the next point.
15. Gaslighting Behavior
A person who’s not truthful enough to take ownership of their mistakes may also have a gaslighting tendency, wherein they make their partner lose faith in their own sense of reason and judgment. Once the partner realizes this pattern, it can be a big turn-off for them.
16. Rude Behavior
Unlike what some immature folks may think, being rude and insensitive to others is not cool! In fact, before a romantic relationship may even take shape, your potential partner may take note of how you treat the service staff at a restaurant, the security guard at their building, or people in general. Unkind behavior leaves a poorer impression than anything else.
17. Not Giving Personal Space
This is another common turn-off, which a person may not instantly pick up on, but will definitely get sick of at some point in the relationship. Everyone needs and deserves their personal space, and that should be given and respected at all costs.
18. Being Too Clingy
Adding to the above point, not giving one their personal space may be a sign of clinginess. Your romantic partner may find that endearing at first but would be revolted soon enough.
19. Lying
This one is a no-brainer! When you realize that your partner lies too much, it gets difficult to trust that anything in your relationship has ever been true.
20. Infidelity
A person may lie for little things, but having an affair is taking things too far from a relationship standpoint. Cheating may involve physical or even emotional intimacy with someone outside of the relationship and is a huge turn-off for the partner when they find out.
21. Not Setting Boundaries
Not setting boundaries is not just a turn-off, it is toxic behavior that people should watch out for! Not just in romantic relationships, but in other loving relationships too, one should prohibit crossing the line, being too available, being too possessive, or having unrealistic expectations from the other.
22. Discrimination
A romantic relationship is ideally one with two equals in it. And, the moment the “power” or “status” in the relationship starts to feel lopsided, it is a huge turn-off! No one should feel judged or discriminated against in a relationship, be it for their gender, financial income, education, family/ethnic background, etc.
23. Speaking Too Much Without Listening
When your romantic partner seems to not only talk too much but also talk over you and barely listen, then it’s a one-sided conversation. It is extremely difficult to maintain healthy communication with such partners, and such behavior can seem hurtful as there is a lack of attention and importance given to the thing you want to say.
24. Flirting Too Much with Others
Some people are okay when their partners flirt passively, and it’s even healthy in some cases. However, when one’s romantic partner flirts too much with others, almost compulsively, then it’s a red flag! There’s a chance that the partner may perhaps not be invested in the concept of monogamy, or may be losing interest in the relationship.
25. Complaining Too Much
Like venting about how awful your day was with your partner? Great! Because that’s completely normal and healthy. However, there’s a difference between letting off steam once in a while and being habitual to complaining or cribbing too much about things. It shows that a person is a pessimist, only sees the worst in every situation, and is impossible to please, which is a major turn-off!
26. Being Unkind to Others
You know how some people are mean to others, but make an exception for their romantic partners and are extra sweet to them? Yeah, that kind! It’s a huge turn-off!
27. Comparing with Other People
Comparison is often unfair and makes people feel worse about themselves for no good reason. Whether your partner compares you to some other girl/guy or compares your relationship with someone else’s, it definitely won’t make you feel good and would be a big turn-off.
28. Not Understanding Each Other’s Love Language
When your partner doesn’t listen or pay attention, they won’t be able to love you the way you wish to be loved or interpret your loving gestures correctly. In such cases, one’s basic needs are not fulfilled in a relationship, and it’s quite an emotional turn-off.
29. Not Being Supportive
When two people are “together”, it doesn’t only mean that they are physically together, happen to go on dates, or live under the same roof. It essentially also means that they have each other’s support and understanding. When that need is not met, it often feels purposeless to continue being in that relationship.
30. Being Too Cynical
It is hard to get a good feeling from a relationship when your partner is too cynical of things in general. It’s like living in fear that your high spirits and optimism can be shattered in seconds if you mistakenly share them with your partner. For a healthy relationship, two parties should share the same zest for life and should be able to enliven each other’s spirits.
31. Taking Criticism Too Personally
While it is difficult to be with a person who always criticizes you harshly, it is also not easy to be with someone who takes every critical feedback too personally and gets upset with it. This makes it impossible to be honest with them at times.
32. Playing the Hero/Victim Card
Proving oneself to be a hero in a situation or a victim often falls in the same spectrum — they are the “good” ones and their partner is always the one at fault! The behavior is quite toxic and a major turn-off.
33. Not Communicating Clearly
Another massive turn-off is when your partner expects you to be a mind-reader! It’s an unrealistic expectation to have, and can make you live in constant guilt or confusion, which is cruel!
34. Being Too Overwhelming
Finding it difficult to keep up with one’s partner is a popular turn-off, which is why most people only look for potential partners within their “league” and in people they share similar interests with.
35. Having a Superiority/Inferiority Complex
Even if your partner treats you as an equal, it can be a major turn-off if you continue considering yourself either superior or inferior to them. Lopsided notions of status often come in the way of a loving relationship.
36. Lack of Intimacy
This one often leads to breakups if not resolved. While the physical compatibility between two individuals takes time to form, it is an immediate turn-off to find out that your partner is not on the same page as you and has different preferences.
37. Not Taking Initiatives
It can be a major turn-off if it is often only you who plans dates, movie nights, or vacations without your partner ever initiating anything. This is closely linked to not making efforts, and can soon make you stop wanting to do more things for your partner.
38. Not Taking Interest in Each Other’s Interests
Your tastes can be different to start with. Perhaps you love traveling whereas your partner hates it and likes to stay indoors. In such cases, it is very endearing when either party goes the extra mile to take pleasure in their partner’s interest. It shows that you truly care about each other, and are willing to become a part of their world.
39. Letting Upset When One Requires Space
It’s great to want to spend time together. But expecting that your partner would be available for that all the time is very unrealistic and unreasonable. When a person needs their space, it’s often about them and not about you, and hence, shouldn’t be made a big deal about! And, that takes us to the next point —
40. Making a Big Deal out of Insignificant Things
It takes maturity to save the arguments for serious problems, and ignore or get over matters that are frivolous. After all, making a big deal of every little issue in life can be a serious turn-off!
42. Never Admitting One’s Own Mistakes
Nobody wants to be stuck with a serial blamer! Admitting one’s own mistakes in a matter shows strength, courage, honesty, and authenticity in a person, which are invaluable attributes in a relationship. If a person never owns up to their mistakes, it can be an annoyance to continue dating them.
42. Turning Every Discussion Into an Argument
When this happens, you’ll only either catch yourself fighting with your partner or not talking at all, which is a huge turn-off!
43. Not Having Each Other’s Backs
While one shouldn’t have unrealistic expectations from their partners, having each other's backs is the least two romantic partners can expect from each other.
44. Silent Treatment
It is understandable why one’s partner may not want to talk to them right after an argument and would require some time and space to resolve the issue. However, it is quite a red flag if one starts giving their partner the silent treatment on the slightest misunderstanding, or disagreement. It is a very unhealthy way to deal with a problem.
45. Indulging in Sinful Gossiping
Most people indulge in some harmless gossip from time to time. However, taking immense pleasure in someone else’s misfortune or exaggerating things from someone’s personal life is quite a red flag, and may even seem alarming.
46. Lacking a Real Personality
Have you ever dated a person who blindly agrees to everything you say, doesn’t have any opinion on important matters, or whose claims have no credibility whatsoever? It can be a massive turn-off to be in a relationship with a person who lacks a real personality.
47. Too Much PDA
Sometimes, it can be endearing when your partner holds your hand when walking through the streets or kisses you in a group setting out of affection. However, it is a turn-off if all the love two people share is through PDA, as if the relationship exists only to make others jealous, and nothing else!
48. Being Too Jealous
The popular ugly emotion has notoriously ended several loving relationships in the past and continues to do so. Jealously is a sign of severe insecurity, and hence, a major turn-off.
49. Lacking a Conscience
While not many people consciously realize this, lacking conscience can be a massive turn-off!
50. Obsessing Over One’s Ex
In a healthy relationship, it is very important to live in the present and prioritize your partner the most, over other people that you’ve dated before. It is quite a turn-off to see one’s partner still obsessing over their exes, as that makes one feel undervalued and taken for granted.
Not every turn-off in a relationship is a red flag or an indicator that things cannot be fixed. We are all humans with imperfections, who still deserve being in loving relationships. However, if a person is simply not willing to make efforts to work through these imperfections after the honeymoon phase of the relationship is over, then there’s no way for things to work out. If any of the above-mentioned signs apply to you or your partner, then it’s a strong indicator that it’s time to make amends, especially if you feel that your current relationship is worth it!
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