What Men Want in a Relationship: 11 Things to Understand Men

Decoding what men want in a relationship can be confusing. Build a better bond with your man by discovering the top 11 things men really want in a relationship.

Laura Doyle
Reviewed by LAURA DOYLE , Relationship Coach | Written by Aastha Pahadia , Certified Relationship Coach
Updated on May 27, 2024 | 03:27 PM IST | 749.8K
11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship
11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Being in a relationship with a man who’s mysterious can make you struggle to understand what men want in a relationship. Don’t worry at all if you are not able to decipher what makes a man happy in a relationship. While much has been said about what women want in a relationship, it's time to shift the focus to men. After all, men and women have different needs and priorities regarding relationships. To make things work, it's crucial to understand what guys really want in a relationship, so you can meet his needs and strengthen your bond. By doing so, you'll make him feel more secure in the relationship, and your bond will grow stronger than ever before.

In this article, we'll walk you through the 11 things men seek in a committed relationship. However, it's important to note that these desires may vary from person to person. So, it's crucial to have open and honest communication with your partner to understand his specific needs.

1. Honest Communication

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

It's no secret that honesty is the number one priority in any successful relationship, and that goes for men. But what most women don't realize is that men also crave straightforward communication from their partners. Yes, you heard it right! What guys want is an honest dialogue, especially when it comes to building trust.

So, if you struggle with trust issues in your relationship, try being more transparent with your man. He'll appreciate your honesty and is more likely to reciprocate. Laura Doyle, America’s leading Relationship Coach, says, “Remember that true honesty is saying how you feel and what you desire, not criticizing, correcting or complaining about him. For example, instead of saying, "I hate when you leave all the dishes in the sink," be honest by saying, "I would love a clean kitchen." Once you've established a foundation of mutual trust and honesty, nothing can come between you.

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Pro Tip: Honesty is the key to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. So, always be truthful and straightforward with your partner, and watch your love grow stronger daily.

2. Manipulation-free Relationship

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Listen up, ladies! This is crucial to building a lasting, secure relationship with your man. Men have a sixth sense when it comes to manipulation and can spot it from a mile away. Whether it's something small like asking him to pick flowers for you or something big like trying to convince him you're "the one," manipulation is a big no-no in a healthy relationship.

When a relationship is built on manipulation, it can feel suffocating and insecure for both partners. So, if you want to make your relationship healthy, leave all your manipulative tactics at the door. Be honest, open, and genuine with your loving partner, and you'll create a foundation of trust that can withstand anything.

Pro Tip: Remember, manipulation is the opposite of honesty, so if you want your relationship to thrive, always communicate openly and honestly with your partner. Trust us; it'll be worth it!

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3. Space to Be Authentic

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

One of the lesser-known things that men crave in a relationship is space. That's right, space to be authentic and themselves without any pressure to conform to expectations or play a particular role. Men want their life partners to love and accept them for who they are, flaws and all.

In a world where men are often expected to be strong, confident, and unemotional, it can be challenging to let down their guard and be vulnerable. That's why women need to give their partners the space to be themselves without judgment or criticism.

When men feel they can be authentic around their partners, it creates a safe and supportive environment that allows the relationship to flourish. Give your man the space he needs to be his authentic self to build a strong bond that no one can break. 

Pro Tip: It's important to remember that space doesn't mean distance. It simply means creating an environment where both partners feel free to be themselves without fear of judgment or rejection. So, be supportive and accepting, and watch your love grow stronger daily.

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4. Strong, Self-assured, And Independent Woman

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Gone are the days when men looked for a damsel in distress to rescue. Today, men want a partner who is strong, independent, and confident in herself. A woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to go after it. Men find it incredibly attractive when their partner is self-sufficient, has her interests and passions, and doesn't rely on them for validation or approval. Strong, independent women bring a sense of balance and stability to a relationship. They're not afraid to speak their minds or stand up for themselves, which creates an open and honest environment for both partners to communicate and grow together.

So, if you want to attract the right kind of man, focus on developing your strength, independence, and confidence. It will make you more attractive to men and help you build a fulfilling and satisfying relationship based on mutual respect and admiration.

Pro Tip: Remember, being strong and independent doesn't mean being closed off or unapproachable. It simply means valuing yourself and your own needs while still being open and receptive to your partner's needs as well.

5. Commitment And Fidelity 

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Commitment and fidelity are two of the most important things men look for in a relationship. Men want a partner who is committed to the relationship and willing to put in the effort to make it work. They also want a partner who is faithful and loyal, someone who they can trust completely. A committed and faithful relationship provides a sense of security and stability for men. They want to know that their partner is fully invested in the relationship and that they won't be betrayed or hurt. A strong foundation of commitment and fidelity also allows for more profound emotional connection and intimacy between partners.

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So, if you're looking to build a solid and lasting relationship with a man, prioritize commitment and fidelity. Be open and honest about your intentions and desire for a committed faithful relationship. And, of course, always stay true to your word and promises.

Pro Tip: Building and maintaining a committed and faithful relationship requires effort from both partners. Continually nurture your relationship with your partner by investing time and energy in it. Show your love and appreciation for each other regularly, and work through any challenges that arise together.

6. Praises And Appreciation

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Men love to be praised and appreciated in their relationships. Whether for something as small as taking out the trash or as significant as a career milestone, a little praise can go a long way in making a man feel valued and respected. Research has shown that praise activates the same pleasure centers in the brain as receiving a monetary reward. So, by giving your man genuine praise and appreciation, you're making him feel good and strengthening your emotional intimacy.

Laura Doyle suggests, “A great way to show you appreciate your man is to notice something he did and then say how it made you feel. For example, "Wow, the yard looks so good! That makes me happy." You can even be playful with it and say things like, "The trash has been magically emptied! Not sure how that's happening, but I love it." You may think it sounds over-the-top, but by noticing what he does, you're acknowledging that he's making your life better, which inspires him to want to do even more to make you happy.”

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Don't be afraid to tell your man how much you appreciate him and all he does for you. Even the smallest gesture of praise can greatly impact your relationship.

Pro Tip: When praising your man, be specific and genuine. Avoid general statements like "you're amazing" and instead focus on specific actions or qualities you admire. This will make your praise more meaningful and impactful.

7. Physical Intimacy

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Physical intimacy is an essential aspect of any romantic relationship and is one of the things that men want in a relationship. While it may not be the only important thing, it plays a significant role in maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. Men want to feel desired and wanted by their partners, and physical intimacy is a powerful way to express that desire. This can include holding hands, hugging, kissing, and sexual intimacy.

However, it's essential to remember that physical intimacy should always be consensual and respectful of both partners' boundaries. Open communication about your desires and needs is crucial in maintaining a healthy physical relationship.

Pro Tip: Make time for physical intimacy in your relationship and prioritize it just as you would any other important aspect of your partnership. Spend quality time together and explore each other's desires and communicate openly about what you enjoy and are comfortable with.

8. Respect 

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Respect is a fundamental aspect of any healthy relationship and is one of the things men want in a relationship. Men want to feel respected by their partners, just as women do. This includes being treated as an equal partner, having their opinions and feelings acknowledged and valued, and being trusted to make decisions.

Respect is also crucial when it comes to communication. Men want their partners to listen to them without judgment, be empathetic and understanding, and communicate respectfully.

Pro Tip: Show your partner respect by actively listening to them, valuing their opinions, and treating them as equal partners. Avoid belittling or dismissing their thoughts and feelings, and communicate in a way that is respectful and considerate of their perspective.

9. An Interest in Their Hobbies

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Men love having someone who is interested in what they enjoy doing and willing to participate in those activities with them. This could be anything from playing sports to watching movies or video games.

Taking an interest in your partner's hobbies shows that you care about them and provides an opportunity for you to bond and connect on a deeper level. It allows you to share in their passions and learn more about them as a person.

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Pro Tip: If you're unfamiliar with your partner's hobbies, ask them to teach you. Take an open-minded approach and show genuine interest in what they enjoy doing. Who knows, you might even discover a new hobby you love too!

10. Encouragement And Support 

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

Men want a partner who will stand by them and support their ambitions. Whether it's a career goal, a personal project, or a lifelong dream, men appreciate a woman who will encourage them and help them to achieve their goals. Showing interest in their aspirations and being their biggest cheerleader can do wonders for their motivation and confidence. By supporting their ambition, you demonstrate your commitment to their success and willingness to be an equal partner. A partner who supports them is their lover, friend, confidante, and ally, and they will cherish you for it.

Pro Tip: Encourage your partner to share their goals and aspirations with you and show genuine interest in them. Offer support and help them overcome any obstacles they may face in achieving their ambitions. Celebrate their successes and encourage them to keep striving towards their dreams. Remember, a long-term relationship is a partnership, and supporting each other's ambitions can lead to a stronger and more fulfilling bond.

11. Sense of Humor

11 Things to Help Decode What Men Want In A Relationship

A playful and humorous relationship is crucial for a long-lasting and healthy bond. Men appreciate women who have a nice sense of humor, can make them laugh, and create a fun environment. It's important to remember that being playful doesn't necessarily mean cracking jokes all the time; it could be as simple as teasing each other, playfully flirting, or engaging in fun activities together. A relationship with laughter and humor can help reduce stress, build stronger communication, and create beautiful memories. So, don't forget to add a dash of fun and humor to your relationship to keep the spark alive.

Laura Doyle further says, “Laughing together is a sign of high emotional safety, which is where intimacy and connection thrive.  If the blender explodes and he makes a huge mess in the kitchen, you can either get upset at him or playfully say, "Hey, quit messing around!" Or if he says that to you when the curtains fall off the rod onto the floor on your third attempt, you're going a long way toward showing that you're happy.

Only happy people have happy relationships, and laughing and being silly are great signs that you're feeling emotionally safe, which helps him to know that he's succeeding at making you happy. That's a great way to keep your relationship healthy and happy.”

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Pro Tip: Take time out for each other to engage in fun activities such as playing board games, going on a road trip, or watching a funny movie. It can help you relax, enjoy each other's company, and can also help deepen your connection.

NOTE:  If you prioritize "what I want from a man" above everything else and it's causing disappointment in your relationship, try focusing on your partner's desires instead. Ask him, "What does he want in a relationship" to strengthen your bond. Remember, growth in a relationship happens when both partners make an effort to fulfill each other's needs.

Conclusion

Understanding what men want in a relationship can be the key to building a long-lasting and fulfilling connection with your partner. If you are concerned about 'what men want in a relationship', then you have already taken a step towards making yourself happy and securing your relationship with him. By prioritizing things like respect, support, intimacy, and shared interests, you can create a strong foundation for your relationship to grow and thrive. Remember, communication is also crucial in any relationship, so don't hesitate to have an open and honest dialogue. You can create a relationship that fulfills both of you by being attentive to your partner's needs and desires.

ALSO READ: 21 Things That Men Look for in Women

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About The Author
Aastha Pahadia
Aastha Pahadia
Certified Relationship Coach

Aastha is a certified Relationship coach and she strives to help those who seek expert advice on relationships.

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