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Why Is My Ex Texting Me? 20 Reasons to Figure out What’s Cooking
When an ex reaches out after a breakup, you often ask, “Why is my ex texting me?’” Here are 20 signs to analyze the situation and drive the conversation wisely.
Every breakup affects one’s emotional and psychological well-being. Since both partners emotionally invest themselves in each other, it is often difficult to cope with feelings of disappointment and heartbreak. However, there is a phase when your ex tries reaching out and you question yourself, “Why is my ex texting me?”
There are plenty of emotional and practical reasons behind your ex-partner messaging you or trying to build a channel of communication. After predicting all the signs your ex wants you back, you can choose to respond or not, depending upon the nature of your relationship and the reason for the closure.
A message from your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend could also mean that they are testing you and your current state of mind. They either be looking for ways to maintain friendship or give your connection a second chance. As you scroll ahead, you will learn more about the reasons your ex is texting out of the blue. Stay tuned to the end of the article to open up your mind, and analyze the situation without getting ahead of yourself.
Why Is My Ex Texting Me: 20 Solid Reasons
1. They Are Texting Because of Guilt
Why do exes reach out? They do so because they cannot bear the deep sense of remorse. In simpler words, they reach out to you because of guilt. They typically contact you to vent their emotions and ease the pain. Alternatively, they expect forgiveness and believe that once you respond, they can alleviate their sorrowful sentiments. You might be flabbergasted by their lengthy paragraphs and apology messages, but they silently wish for a reply from your end.
2. They Are Looking for Friendship
When your ex texts you out of nowhere, they might be looking for some possibilities to stay connected as friends. It could also mean that your ex still has feelings for you and wishes to consider you as a good friend for the time being. On the other hand, if you guys ended your relationship on a good note, they might be looking for pure friendship wherein both of you move on together with your respective partners while providing enough space and freedom.
3. Boredom Struck Them
The reason why your ex texted you could be simply because he or she is bored and has ample free time to kill. He or she might be reminiscing about the good old days when you as a couple used to chat to alleviate each other's boredom. Since, your ex-partner is free from work, and done with the daily chores, he/she must be texting you while sitting idly.
4. They Feel Lonely
Due to extreme loneliness, your ex-partner may text you out of the blue. Maybe they don’t have many friends to hang out with or haven’t found anyone for affection. Your ex must be feeling emotionally void and just has you to talk to. Hence, loneliness can be one of the apparent reasons why your ex reached out after no contact.
5. They Are Angry
If you have just broken up and ended your relationship on a bad note, a text from the ex could be out of anger. It is natural for them to seek closure, so they may be flooding your inbox with messages and calls. There could be chances that they want to apologize, salvage the situation out of anger, and resolve issues.
6. They Must Be Texting You out of Curiosity
Another reason your ex reached out to you could be sheer curiosity. He or she wants to know how you have been for years, whether you moved on, or whether you are still looking for someone special. The general idea behind him or her messaging you could be to know what’s happening in your life.
7. They Text You for Pleasure
Intimacy or pleasure can be the two most implausible reasons when an ex reaches out. This could be because you spent a long time with each other. With a text, he or she must be testing the water initially and then looking for a scope to be in a situationship.
8. He Or She Needs Support
After a few weeks or months, you might receive texts from your ex asking for support. He or she might be in a fix or dealing with some set of problems. During such situations, they might be looking for financial or emotional help which you could offer. Alternatively, they would also text you to vent everything out.
9. They Are Jealous
A text from an ex could also be out of jealousy. You may have moved on in life happily, but your ex-partner might still be hung up on you. They do not want you to get ahead in life faster than them. He or she must be feeling vulnerable after your breakup and hence, they begin messaging you with a hope to get along once again.
10. They Might Keep You As a Backup Plan
Once you have parted ways and moved on, there’s always a point when you think of your ex. Sometimes, an ex moves on too quickly, and when their new relationships fail, they reach out to you as a backup plan. If they don’t find anyone suitable to spend their life with, they try to rebuild a connection.
11 They Must Be Rethinking the Reasons for the Breakup
A text from an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend could be after they recalled the reasons for the breakup. They took their time to reflect on the mistakes and wondered what went wrong. They text you to reconcile, be manipulative, trying to invite you into a renewed relationship.
12. They Want to Have a Practical Conversation
An ex reaching out for a practical conversation is normal, especially if you both were sharing an apartment or living together. It could be regarding the payments of bills, groceries, or any other aspects like seeking solutions to overcome difficult financial situations.
13. They Are Testing You
Why does the ex reach out? They are testing the waters. They are contacting you to understand your current state of mind, mood, and feelings. Their conversation might appear to be casual but silently, they must be looking for signs of unresolved feelings.
14. They Want to Patch Up
An obvious reason behind an ex texting after a breakup is to patch up. They are looking for possibilities to start afresh. Your ex-partner must want to apologize for his behavior or actions. Moreover, they must have realized their faults and can’t move on in life.
15. They Require Reassurance
They must need reassurance because of a desire to rekindle the relationship or at least establish a renewed friendship. Through messages, they just want to gauge whether you are open to this possibility or patching up and rebuilding the connection.
16. They Text You out of Humanity
When an ex reaches out after months, it could be out of humanity or a sense of concern. They are not purposely checking on you but ensuring that you are doing good in life.
17. They Realized Their Mistake
There are thousands of reasons why couples break up. But one reason for them reaching out could be the fact that they have realized their mistake. Your ex-partner might have contacted you to admit his/her wrongful doings, taking responsibility for what went down the vain.
18. They Are Not Able to Move on
After a breakup, it is not easy to move on and resume life. Hence, it is natural for your ex-partner to message you with the potential of getting back together. If you end things abruptly, then there is a higher chance of them asking for closure or undoing things.
19. They Remembered You
Your ex-partner might randomly text you to share a slice of his/her life. He or she must have remembered you after visiting a place, restaurant, or cafe where you as a couple used to spend time the most.
20. They Were Drunk
When one is high, it is obvious to drunk dial or message the ex. Hence, your ex could have messaged out of emotions. He or she might be emotionally driven to text you and want to vent out everything that was cooking their head post-breakup.
Read More: How to Forget About Your Ex? Essential Tips to Get over the Past
What Shall You Do If Your Ex Texts You?
When your ex messages you, to respond or not to respond is a big dilemma. Responding to ex reaching out could be a sign that you are opening the channel of communication. If you find your ex-partner toxic or their actions traumatizing, avoid responding.
On the other hand, if you have mutually parted ways and decided to be there for each other during difficult times, then you may reply without infringing privacy. In case, your conversation or their texts affect you mentally or emotionally, you can remind them of their limits.
You can also try out some self-care strategies for handling the conversation better or distract your mind in case the messages become too overwhelming. You can think of practicing meditation, calling a friend, or focusing on personal growth.
Is it Okay to Text Your Ex Back?
When it is about fixing or rekindling relationships, remember there is always a right time and place. There could be plenty of reasons behind an ex reaching out to you. However, you need to respond with clarity and honesty. You don’t have to pretend to be okay. All that you need to do is define clear boundaries. If you are not willing to speak to your ex-partner, don’t force yourself to respond to his or her texts.
Furthermore, if you are genuinely interested, then respond to the messages with a good intention and avoid gauging between emotions. Ideally, it is recommended to take a break from each other during the healing phase.
Now, that you have found all the reasons, refrain from asking, “Why is my ex texting me?” Instead, analyze the situation, try to resolve issues if any, respond with a sense of concern, or simply out of humanity. There are no hard or fast rules to get back or to ignore his or her messages. Every relationship is unique and every couple’s way of dealing with things and issues differs.
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