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EXCLUSIVE: Shama Sikander reveals why she left TV industry; admits to attempting suicide
In a chat with Pinkvilla, Shama Sikander aka Pooja from Yeh Meri Life Hain spoke at length about deciding to quit TV at the peak of her career and revealed many details from darker phasees of her life.
Trigger Warning: The article contains mention of suicide
Shama Sikander rose to immense fame with music videos in the 90s alongside Gautam Rode. She went ahead to feature in one of the popular shows Yeh Meri Life Hain, wherein she played the character of a girl-next-door Pooja Mehra. While people were sure this role would garner her immense fame and multiple projects, Shama disappeared from the TV scene for around six years. In an exclusive chat with Pinkvilla, the actress opened up on the reason why she decided to quit the industry at the peak of her career and also revealed that she tried to die by suicide.
Shama Sikander revealed she tried to commit suicide
Talking exclusively to Pinkvilla about her sudden disappearance from the industry, Shama Sikander said, "Burnt out. That's the reason why I decided to leave. I had worked without a break for quite a long time and it started to take a toll on my mental health. I started to feel uneasy and I decided to stay indoors. I stopped going out and socializing. I was going through depression and even tried to commit suicide but thankfully my parents saved me at the nick of the time."
Take a look at Shama Sikander's vibrant photos from social media:
Shama Sikander on what caused her depression
When asked what led her to be depressed, the Baalveer actress said, "Depression isn't caused because of one reason. It is caused after an amalgamation of various thoughts and reasons. During that time, in early 2000s, there wasn't really much awareness about the same. My parents weren't able to gauge the reason for me wanting to be home and not being productive at all."
She added, "However, they were still extremely supportive of me and gave me love. I feel the industry has a lot of unrealistic expectations from people. It requires you to be what they perceive of you and slowly and steadily you lose yourself completely in the darkness. When I felt the burnout, I gave up the stardom and industry and took my own time for healing."
Elaborating on the lack of boundaries she developed, Shama said, "I was a people pleaser and how. I used to be under constant pressure to be the perfect professional, perfect daughter, and perfect in all of my relationships. That took a toll on me as well. I had no boundaries."
Shama Sikander on whether her friends helped her during that phase of her life
When asked if her friend circle stood tall with her during her battle with depression, Shama revealed that her circle was always small and during that phase, she had cut off contacts with people because she had lost interest in socializing with anyone.
She said, "So, whenever I used to address my thoughts of not feeling like working or being productive, all people around me would say was that I should go out and have coffee. Or they would ask me to accompany them to a club as they believed that it would distract me. I don't blame them because, during that period, there wasn't any awareness about depression. In fact, I was also unsure about what it was that I was feeling."
The 43-year-old actress revealed that some of her friends felt guilty after knowing her mental health conditions and they regretted not being with her in that phase as anything would have happened to her given the fact that she even attempted suicide. She said, "They feel guilty but I don't blame them. How much can one persuade you, when you are not willing to talk or step out of your room?"
Shama Sikander on healing herself and evolving as a person
Talking about being in a happy space now, Shama added that she always looks at the silver lining even in the darkest clouds, and takes the darker phase of her life as a lesson learned early on in her life. She said, "I always concentrate on the positives and I credit that phase of my life for helping me become the person that I am today. I have my boundaries set, I don't entertain people beyond a limit, and I know the value of my time and my emotions."
Emphasizing the importance of self-love in her healing journey, the actress said, "I feel I could heal only because I started loving myself. I realized to help others, first, I'll have to help myself. On the flights, they announce that before adjusting someone else's oxygen masks, make sure yours is worn correctly. The same is applied in real life in terms of one's mental health. I realized the importance of self-care and happiness during that phase of my life and I am very particular in not letting myself experience those feelings again."
Shama Sikander on her television comeback
Shama Sikander revealed that she isn't keen on returning to TV as she doesn't want to work for long hours and has no time for herself. She said, "I prefer OTT projects. While I love to act, I also love myself and my family. I don't want to repeat the same mistake again by getting myself worked up. I want to enjoy my job and my life as well. I have certain boundaries in my professional life too. I don't prefer working on a Sunday. I'd love to spend at least one day with my close ones and cherish moments that help my soul. This is not possible in TV and thus, I won't make a comeback on TV."
Shama Sikander concluded by stating that she doesn't regret the decision to quit the industry at the peak of her career and mentioned that prioritizing her mental health was the need of the hour. She added being in a happy space and working in the industry, no matter little, according to her terms.
Disclaimer: If you know someone who is having suicidal thoughts, anxiety, going through depression, or suffering from a serious mental illness, reach out to a nearby doctor, mental health expert, or an NGO for immediate help. There are several helplines available for the same.
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