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Father's Day EXCLUSIVE: Mohit Malik, 'I want to show my flaws to Ekbir, fathers are not heroes'
On the special occasion of Father's Day, actor Mohit Malik did an exclusive interview with Pinkvilla where he shared how fatherhood changed him.
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Mohit Malik reminisces his childhood memories with his father in Delhi
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The actor wants his son to know that his father is always there to talk to as a friend
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His feeling when Ekbir called him 'baba' for the first time
Mohit Malik is one of the finest actors in showbiz and a perfect example of how one should balance their professional and personal life. On the occasion of Father's Day, Malik, a father to a two-year-old, Ekbir, poured his heart out exclusively to Pinkvilla where he talked about his childhood memories and the equation he wants to develop with his son. Read on:
Importance of a Father's Influence on kid's Lives
My father has been the most important influence in my life. He used to always be there for me supporting me. He has always been behind my back, standing right behind me and supporting me and inspiring me, and motivating me. And just like my father, I just want to be the same for Ekbir and give him that backing. All the strength to fall back on, you know, and I just want him to know that his father, is right there behind him and he can go achieve whatever he wants to. So, I think it's a great influence.
Mohit's memories with his father
There are loads of memories. I have grown up in a joint family with my elder brother and seven cousins of mine under one roof in one house. So wherever we used to go, used to go together and my dad used to take us all. I remember the fondest memories, we used to go to the Railway Museum in Delhi and there was a little small toy train in that and he used to take us all and you know we used to celebrate that and have French fries and have all the junk food possible and roam around in that toy train and have loads of fun. It's a beautiful Railway Museum. And so yeah, I have some really fond memories of celebrating Father's Day there with my father. And you know, while going back, we used to have ice cream at India Gate and then go back. So yeah, those are the memories and I cannot forget all my life.
When Ekbir called Mohit 'baba' for the first time
So when he called me Baba for the first time, see first of all he said Baba first and Mimi later. I mean he calls mummy Mimi. Baba was the first word that came out of his mouth. Naturally, he started saying Baba and Aditi (Malik) wanted him to say Baba first. The first time when he called me Baba it was something else. The amount of importance you feel the amount of worth you feel and yeah it just shoots up your self-esteem, your self-worth. So him being there has really helped me grow as a human being, and calling me Baba, it's just a part of it. And he's curious about a lot of things. So he keeps on asking me Baba, what is this Baba? What is that so? So yeah, it's a great thing. It's such a beautiful thing.
Changes in life after embracing fatherhood
A lot of changes have happened. First of all, I started balancing my work life and family life a lot earlier. It was very much work oriented as I've grown up in a very workaholic environment and a workaholic family. The second nature was to go to work and keep working and keep working hard and not giving relationships so much importance. After becoming a father, I've started realizing the importance of relationships and the importance of people around you and meeting as a team. So there's a great change in me that I've become more relationship-oriented and started thinking more about people around me. Being a father has really helped me. And I just want to be the same. I just want to be the way I am in front of Ekbir. Yeah, I try to be a better person, that's for sure. But I don't want to really hide my flaws in front of him. I want to show my flaws to him. I want to be very real to him because he should understand that you know that we fathers are not heroes. Fathers are very normal human beings. And that's what I've grown up watching to my father, and I want him to see me as a very, flawed human being like everyone is. I'm not perfect and no one is perfect. He should never think that his father is a hero or he's perfect and he can do anything. I'm not perfect. I'm a flaw. I get angry at times. I get frustrated at times. I do get sad at times. I overreact sometimes.
The equation Mohit is building with Ekbir
So the equation that I want to set up with Ekbir is something that is respectful. That I respect him and he respects me. He should respect every human being irrespective of caste, creed, or status. Ekbir should respect me, respect his mother, and everyone around the house and everyone around him and in his life. And sometimes, yes, he goes overboard. I go overboard sometimes, but we get back. Another thing is, I want him to share. I mean, right now he's not able to converse so much. But I want him to share everything with me. Yes, I want him to know that I listen. That's what I do. I mean, right now it is just that I listen to him. Whenever he wants to talk to me, I listen to him. In an equation, It is very important to be kind to each other, being respectful to each other, and listening to each other.
Does Mohit feel the father's guilt?
To be honest, no, I don't feel that guilt when I leave before work. I think that comes from my work upbringing and workaholic upbringing. I try my best to give Ekbir quality time. The best amount of time I can give it to him, try to be with him. But when it's work, I have to work and he should know that when I'm working I have to go out and I cannot sit at home and be with him throughout his life. He will go out and work. I will go out and work. We all need to go out and work because I think, work is a great teacher. I think it teaches you a lot of things and keeps you sane. It keeps you happy when you work. That should be taught to your children that work is so important, you should keep on working all your life, I believe. And yeah, so I don't really feel guilt. But yes, one more reason for that is that Ekbir is always surrounded by his nanny or somebody else. So, I make sure that somebody's there with him. I Don't keep my child alone. I don't want to keep him alone. So yeah, but if the situation arises, he has to stay alone. Being alone is a beautiful thing. You should be alone at some point in your life because it teaches you a lot of things about yourself.
Now, I think Ekbir needs time. He needs my time. But we both are working. Sometimes we both are not there. We're OK with it because you know, work also is very important at the same time. And he has an understanding now that you know, like I go for shoots and I come back in the night or I go for some outdoor shoots. I come back after a month. He has an understanding and which is a great thing. He has understood that. And I tell him that, you know, I'll come back after a month and he understands and it's fine because he should know that I'm working and he should know that working is good.
On fathers being friends with their children
It's very important for a father to be a friend. 'Zindagi mein koi ho ya nahi, aapka baap apke saath hona chahiye' (In life, it doesn't matter if someone's there for you or not, your father's support should be there for you) that's what I believe. There will be times when you know you want to be cut off in the world or you want to be alone you want to be still put and don't want to talk to anyone. There will be times when you'll be hurt. There will be times your friends will hurt you. There will be times people will hurt you and the closest people will hurt you. When my son grows, I want him to always keep in his mind that his father is always there to talk to as a friend. I want to listen to him and listen to all his problems and give my guidance. Whatever he feels is right. End of the day, it's his decision. Right now he's too small to do all that stuff. But yes, that's gonna be the game plan. It is very important to be a friend. I have seen relationships where kids don't share things with their father and they don't have a great relationship. And I feel, it shows his or her persona, you know, there's a lot of depth I feel in those people. I don't want Ekbir to be among them. I want him to share an ever-lasting bond with me and think of me as his friend and that his father is always there with him whenever he needs me.
Mohit Malik
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