What to Look for in a Guy? 15 Qualities for a Fulfilling Relationship

“What to look for in a guy” is a question that haunts everyone when they start dating. Here are some key traits that make a guy great for a relationship.

Anubhuti Mishra
Written by Anubhuti Mishra , Relationship Expert
Updated on Sep 06, 2024 | 12:32 PM IST | 60K
What to Look for in a Guy
What to Look for in a Guy: 15 Key Traits Explained

Love is a profound feeling. And as intense as it is, it sometimes blinds us and stops us from being practical. So if you are done being single and are stepping back into the dating game, it’s important to keep the gate to your heart open and welcome the special someone in your life. But at the same time, it’s equally important that you keep your intuition alive to prevent heartbreak. Apart from kindness and compassion, there are various other qualities in a man that make him relationship-worthy. Once you are clear in your head about “What to look for in a guy” — you can easily notice all the red and green flags and end up with the right person. 

There are different types of guys — some wear their hearts on their sleeves while others keep their emotions confined. Some shower their partners with romance while others show it with kind acts of service. Of course, one doesn’t get everything in a relationship, but there are certain characteristics of a great guy that you should look for to have a fulfilling relationship. Without any further ado, let’s jump into the article. 

 

What to Look for in a Guy: 15 Important Qualities for a Relationship 

 

1. Kindness

What to Look for in a Guy

Being with someone kind-hearted goes a long way in building a happy relationship. But what does kindness actually mean? To put it simply, being kind is all about having a soft heart, being gentle toward others, and having a caring attitude. It is an important quality to look for in a man, as it shows how much your partner will support you through tough times.

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If you have just started dating, it could be challenging to know if he is kind or not. Often, people put on a facade at the beginning of a relationship. And when that mask falls off, you end up with a person you didn’t fall in love with. 

Hence, when you are with your partner, see how he behaves not only with you but also with others. Go on multiple dates with him in public places — see if he is courteous toward the staff members and the way he treats others, as this can speak volumes about his character. If he is polite with you but not others, that’s a big red flag! On the other hand, if he treats everyone well, regardless of their age, gender, or status, you’ve found yourself a gem!

2. Humility 

Humility is among the most important things to look for in a man as it paves the way for strong and healthy bonds. You should want to be with someone whose heart is not inflated with pride but with love and respect for their partner. It’s important in a relationship, as it fosters mutual respect and a greater understanding between a couple. 

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Just imagine your partner being so full of himself that he doesn’t recognize any efforts that you put into the relationship — how would that feel? Devastated, right? That’s usually how a person with a lack of modesty and humility behaves while being in a relationship.

If it doesn’t matter to him that you have landed a new job, taken care of the finances, efficiently run the household, or achieved a fitness milestone, it’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore. People who are full of themselves often undermine others’ achievements, thinking it’s nothing compared to their own achievements.  To put it without sugarcoating — if you find such a man, run for your life!

3. Empathy

What to Look for In a Guy

Suppose the dream project you have been working on for the past year didn’t get approval from the clients. To this, all you get from your partner is a pity-based response, “I am sorry, I know how you feel, but truth be told, I think you weren’t qualified enough to handle a project like this.” You’d feel as if someone pushed you off the cliff, right? Hence, one of the key characteristics to look for in a man is empathy. 

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Empathy is all about putting one’s feet in another’s shoes and feeling what the other person might be feeling in a particular situation. Empathy should not be confused with sympathy — the former is the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to fully understand what they’re going through. The latter means to show concern (often superficially) for someone going through a difficult time. Having empathy makes one more non-judgmental and that’s something you should look for in a man. 

In the above example, an empathetic man would hold your hands and ask you not to worry about the project for now. “I am so sorry that this happened, I know how hard you worked for this project and I know this shouldn’t have happened and you are extremely sad about it. However, you must not let this come in the way of your next project. I believe in you, so try to forget about what happened, and give this new project a fresh start.” — these are the kind of words that a man who understands you and empathizes with your situation would say. 

4. Confidence

Blake Lively says, “The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence,” and we 100% agree with this! When looking for a man, make sure to tick one box, and that’s “Confidence!” A man who is confident is secure about himself and his relationship, too. Moreover, self-confidence makes a man accept his mistakes, have the courage to face challenges, and make the right decisions with a positive outlook. To understand if he is confident, see how he tackles challenges, get to know about his ambitions, and see if he is willing to take risks or not. 

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5. Optimism

What to Look for In a Guy

Positive people always shine wherever they go. They have the ability to find goodness in every person and find the silver lining in every situation. Life is a roller-coaster ride, with some days filled with happiness while others with sadness. As a partner, you would want to be with someone who can lift your spirits in rough times. This is why, positivity is one of the most essential qualities in a guy to look for

6. Assertiveness

What to look for in a guy for a long-term relationship? The answer is assertiveness! An assertive man knows how to stand his ground, have honest communication, and stand up for himself and his loved ones. Being with an assertive man will make communication flow swiftly and build mutual respect and understanding. 

7. Independence

What to Look for In a Guy

A man who is dependent on you for everything would make the relationship feel quite suffocating after some time. Whereas, a self-dependent man will help you flourish in life, as he will push you to pursue your dreams and move forward in life. 

Besides, an independent man is self-assured; he has dreams and ambitions and a life of his own. Thus, he understands the value of having goals in life and trying hard to achieve those. Being with an independent man will help you grow as a person outside of the relationship. 

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8. Maturity

Without a emotional maturity, no romantic relationship can thrive in the long run. A perfect partner is one who is mature and knows how to communicate his thoughts and feelings without offending his partner. He understands how to handle conflicts, set boundaries, and support his partner in times of need. When looking for a potential partner, it’s important to look for maturity in a guy, as that will help the relationship sail smoothly. 

9. Honesty

What to Look for In a Guy

There’s a famous Ghanaian proverb that says, “One lie ruins a thousand truths.” That’s perfectly true in the case of relationships — where there is honesty, there is trust and loyalty. Look for a man who is honest with himself and won’t manipulate things to turn them in his favor. 

When you are in a relationship with an honest man, you won’t be constantly haunted by the thoughts, “What is he doing right now?, “Does he lie to me?” etc. An honest man won’t ever lie to you and will make sure to put the relationship above everything else. 

10. Respect

Respect is another important quality to look for in a man. A respectful partner always supports you, doesn’t get jealous, values your opinion, encourages you to take risks, pushes you to fulfill your dreams, and gives you space. 

When there is a lack of respect in a relationship, it leads to constant conflicts, which can eventually take a toll on your mental health. Hence, look for a respectful man who will treat you as his better half and maintain a balanced relationship! 

11. Emotional 

What to Look for In a Guy

Men are often taught not to show their emotions, but showing emotions is never a sign of weakness. What makes a man incredibly attractive is his ability to convey emotions properly and be self-aware of his thoughts and feelings. A man who is empathetic and addresses his needs properly, communicates deeply, and is not hesitant to shed a tear or two in emotional situations is someone who would be emotionally available for you and help you grow in life. 

12. Good Listener

In any relationship to survive, it’s important that a couple engages in deep and honest conversations. Many conflicts can be prevented and fights can be resolved quickly if a couple listens to each other patiently, and with utmost interest. When dating a man, see how good a listener he is and whether he remembers details about you or not. 

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This will help you know if he is serious about the relationship or not. When talking to him, check whether or not he is paying attention or if there is eye contact between you. Ask him subtly about something you told him a while back and see if he remembers — these little details tell a lot about a person. Being with a man who’s an active listener can help navigate relationship complexities easily and foster a happy relationship. 

Read More: 45 Relationship Communication Quotes: Strengthen Love And Connection

13. Loyal

Even though a man is caring, gentle, and passionate, if he is not loyal, that’s a huge red flag right there. Choosing a man who doesn’t prefer stability in a relationship is not worth the time and energy. When a guy is loyal, he will always put you first and never make you feel like a second option, plus, he will be honest and provide you with the stability that’s required to have a fulfilling relationship. 

14. Ambitious 

Beyond relationships, there is a life, filled with dreams and goals. In a healthy relationship, a couple supports each other’s ambitions and motivates one another to achieve their goals. But being with a man who doesn’t have any ambition in life will make you feel like you are doing everything on your own in a relationship. This can lead to resentment in the long run. 

A goal-driven person understands the importance of hard work and knows how difficult it is to survive in a world where there is cut-throat competition. He won’t fuss about you working late hours sometimes or being ferocious for completing a deadline. Moreover, as an ambitious man himself, he will help you be the best version of yourself.

 15. Witty

What to Look for In a Guy

Although not necessarily important, one of the qualities that make a guy amazing to get into a relationship with is his sense of humor. After all, a man who can make you laugh will definitely know how to lighten up the mood. As life is filled with both rosy and gloomy days, having someone like this by your side can make everything look easy in life. Having said that, if a guy you like is not particularly funny, but possesses all the other qualities like kindness, respect, loyalty, etc., you can give still it a shot!

Relationships are never easy and come with their own set of challenges. That is why, it is always advisable to keep your ears and eyes open when forming a new relationship and see if the man you like is serious about a long-term commitment or not. Our comprehensive guide on “What to look for in a guy” includes some major characteristics of a great man and will help you make the right decision. Make sure that the man you date is humble, kind, caring, supportive, and loyal, as these major things will make your relationship stay strong always! 

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FAQ's

What to look for in a guy’s family background?
You can ask the guy if he has any siblings, his relationship with his family, and their cultural values to know about his family’s background.

What to look for in a guy’s past relationships?
You can ask him if he has dated in the past, how many times has he dated, and why the relationships didn’t work out to get a better understanding of his personality. However, don’t jump into these questions too soon, as it might scare him.

Is it important for my guy to have similar interests as me?
No, it’s not important that your man has similar interests as you. You both can have a happy relationship even if you are interested in different things, just make sure that he understands and acknowledges those differences and doesn’t stop you from pursuing your interests and the same goes for you.

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About The Author
Anubhuti Mishra
Anubhuti Mishra
Relationship Expert

A marked inclination toward understanding human emotions and relationships led Anubhuti to become a certified Relationship Expert. With dual

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